Halloween Fun Day

Good Things to give to Trick-or-treaters

• Fresh fruit
• Pork chops
• Sips of whiskey from your hip-flask
• Chlamydia
• Old boots
• Rolls of toilet paper and cartons of eggs
• Chocolate covered razor blades and needles
• Monkeys
• Magic beans
• Regular beans
• Lumberjacks
• Cigarettes and pornography
• Individual slices of American cheese
• Giant bags filled with precious jewels
• Ice
• Paper cups filled with mayonnaise
• Candy

Good Halloween Costumes

• A princess
• A man with no pants (i.e. The Pantsless Horseman)
• The dad from "The Hogan Family" (i.e. The Careerless Horseman)
• Scott Baio (i.e. Scott Baio the Horseman)
• He-man (i.e. He-man the Horseman)
• A tuna fish sandwich
• Skippy the bush kangaroo
• A propeller
• The color yellow
• A Canadian
• Chlamydia (i.e. The Chlamydia Horseman)
• Secretary in Charge of Gettin' It On
• Manual transmission
• Manuel Transmission
• Voltron
• Alf
• Burrito Supreme
• Punk rocker
• President of the Intergalctic Lovin' Patrol
• Vice President of the Intergalactic Lovin' Patrol
• Silverware
• Buck Rogers
• Kojak (i.e. The Hairless Horseman)

Good Halloween Pranks

• Not wearing pants
• Blowing up stuff
• Throwing junk at people
• Not answering the door
• Getting really drunk
• Putting a tack on your friend's chair
• Counting to one million
• Holding your breath until you pass out
• Helping others
• Releasing poison monkeys in your neighborhood
• Giving people chlamydia
• Egging your own house
• Putting a weasel down your pants
• Going to a Merle Haggard concert
• Going to bed early