From Where I Sit: Random, assorted thoughts

Because of an excess of exams and two too many term papers, I have had approximately 8.6 whole, complex thoughts this entire week. Two of those were wasted in one of the computer labs in Mendocino Hall trying to figure out how to get the stupid printer to print my paper. One was spent at 2 a.m. trying to figure out why my desk-side trash can smelled of something sickly sweet (certainly much more important than typing my paper!). The other 5.6 thoughts were so meaningless I’ve forgotten most of them, and most people probably wouldn’t care anyway. But since you’re still reading, I know you really want to know – so here’s what I remember:

Do not see the movie "Life." It is horrible, has no plot, and makes you seriously consider taking a pleasant stroll to the snack bar to look at more interesting things, like the nutritional information on a box of Ju-Ju-Bees.

Even the talent of Eddie Murphy can’t save this movie from its dull monotony. It’s filled with nothing but constant black humor, gay jokes, and endlessly repeating lines of un-funny dialogue. Do something slightly more worthwhile with your two hours, like reading Dave Yow’s column in the Hornet or sitting in traffic.

Stay tuned to this showdown with our university president, Dr. Gerth. First of all, yes, he does exist – we need to nip that little rumor in the bud once and for all. But honestly, it might be better if he didn’t because apparently the Big Guy didn’t catch wind that a sizable majority of the students who voted in the recent campus elections clearly supported student funding of the State Hornet. But Gerth is rumbling into action against the students’ passage of Referendum #2, trying to deny its legitimacy and to halt its implementation unless he is given control of the Hornet’s budget. Bad students! Shame on us for wanting a university instead of a nursery. What ideas will we crazy students come up with next? Free speech?

Speaking of craziness – what is going on in Kosovo? The leftists who used to chant during the Vietnam War, "LBJ, LBJ, how many kids did you kill today?" are now firmly supporting our nation’s lovable lug of a president in his latest exploits (NOT sexual this time). And Republicans are split between being doves or hawks. As for the American people, I’d bet more people think Elvis is alive than even know where Kosovo is. What is going on over there is tragic and incredibly wrong, but we must decide as a country what we are going to do. Is this another Holocaust, Vietnam, or none of the above? Whether we like it or not, we are in this real-life, actual war situation with real-life people and the situation is escalating. We must decide what to do next before it gets out of control.

And speaking of out of control – I do not understand women. Every time I think I understand this species, they do something that throws me off.

Primarily, this happens in the romance department. I’m a guy, so that means I’m pretty dense: I need all the help I can get. Might I suggest a neon sign to tell me what you want, what your intentions are, and if you’re interested? You know who you are. ...

The few remaining dregs of thought in my head were: 1) The ASI needs a new set of specific by-laws so that they actually have power to do things instead of the real strength lying in the hands of their hired executive staff and the Appellate Council. That would also mean that friendly, huggable types like Heather Tejada and Kim Shaw would find it a little harder to get away with their schemes of purging the membership of the board of directors. 2) The female RAs (Resident Advisors) in Sierra Hall are great-looking, hot women! 3) Kudos to University UNIQUE Programs for another great event: specifically, the Stars Under The Stars night of comedy.