PETER B. LUND
THE DISMAL SCIENCE "LIGHTENED UP"JOKES ABOUT ECONOMICS AND ECONOMISTS
Q: What do you get when you cross an economist with a Mafia godfather?
A: An offer you cant understand.
DEFINITION OF AN ECONOMIST - 1
An economist is someone whos pretty good with numbers but who doesnt have the personality to be an accountant.
DEFINITION OF AN ECONOMIST - 2
An economist is someone who finds something that works in practice and wonders whether it would work in theory.
A geologist, a physicist, and an economist are marooned on a desert island with nothing to eat. A can of soup washes ashore. They ponder how to open it. The geologist says, "Lets smash it open with a rock." The physicist says, "Lets heat it up and blow it open." The economist says, "No, no. You guys will lose most of the soup. Lets just assume a can opener."
A head of state listened to an economic policy session in which his economic advisor went on at length, "On the one hand this, but on the other hand that." After the session he turned to his special assistant and said, "The next time I appoint an economic advisor, remind me to find someone whos one-handed!"
Waste is economic sin, but sin is not economic waste.
In Canada there is a radical sect whose members refuse to speak English, and no one can
understand them. They are called radical separatists.
One investor talking to another: "When oil prices went up, economists were gloomy. When oil prices went down, economists were gloomy. I can only conclude that economists are perpetually gloomy people!"
ECON GRADS AND JOBS
WHAT ECONOMICS IS GOOD FOR
Economics cant make you a millionaire, and it cant keep you out of the poor house, but it can help you understand how you got there.
MATH AND ECONOMICS
Said of Glen Loury: He started off by majoring in math, but was drawn to economics, because one could do math while maintaining the credible pretense of relevance by labeling the variables.
ECONOMISTS AND NUMBERS
A business executive interviewed three candidates for the position of quantitative consultant to his company. One was a mathematician, one a sociologist, and one an economist. He invited them one by one into his office, saying he wanted some insight into how theyd perform on the job and had a question for them: "Whats two plus two?" The mathematician answered, "Why, four, of course." The sociologist responded, "Well, it all depends. We have to look at the context of the question, its antecedents, the general view in the population as a whole of this sort of question, and many other things." The economist moved close to the executive and in a furtive voice said, "What do you want it to be?"
A prominent economist, lecturing to a group of undergraduates on problems of income, employment, and inflation, was asked by one, "Whats the secret to running a stable and prosperous economy?" His answer was, "There are three classical rules for prosperity and stability. (pause) Unfortunately, no one knows what they are!"
OF DOGS AND SHEEP
A woman walking down the road comes across a shepherd and a large flock of sheep. She says to the shepherd, "Ill bet you $100 against one of those sheep that I can tell you the exact number in your flock." The shepherd thinks it over and accepts the bet. "973," says the woman. The shepherd is astonished, because that is the correct number. He says, "Im a man of my word, so pick out whichever sheep youd like." The woman chooses an animal and starts to walk away with it.
"Wait!" shouts the shepherd, "Let me have a chance to get even. My animal back if I can guess your exact occupation." The woman agrees. "Youre a quantitative economist for a government agency," he says. The woman responds, "Youre correct; thats amazing! But how did you know?" "Well," says the shepherd, "put down my dog and Ill tell you."