The Better Part of Valor

a Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by Vince Seifert (seifertv@csus.edu)

Ranma 1/2 characters and situations are copyright 1987, 2000
by Takahashi Rumiko.  Publishing rights (Japan) by Shogakukan
Inc.  Publishing rights (North America) by Viz Inc.  This work
is not intended to infringe those rights.

This story takes place in the A Man Among Women timeline (which
diverges from manga-canon at the beginning of v37) about 10 years
after A Man Among Women.

     ~~~~~

     Nerima lay prostrate under the afternoon sun, its residents
dazed by heat that left them without the energy to do much more
than sip cool drinks and hope their electric fans wouldn't burn
out.  The only relief from the enervating buzz of the cicadas was
an occasional soft chiming from the furin suspended from rafters
all over the district; people claimed that the sound of the
little wind-bells made the heat seem less oppressive.  Cynics
held that it was a conditioned reflex caused by the fact that the
furin only sounded when a breath of breeze happened by.

     The furin hanging in the walkway around the Tendo home, its
paper ribbon inscribed "Please, kami, no curses", sounded
faintly, then a little louder.  Suddenly it pealed a mad tocsin
and fell off its nail as a shaggy bovine form descended into the
garden on a pair of fluttering wings that should have been much
too small to support its bulk, whipping up a transient cyclone in
the space within the walls.  It carefully set the glowering
pigtailed man it bore in one huge hand on the ground, dropped the
gi-clad young man in the other hand less gently, and flinched as
the slim youth riding astride its neck dismounted with an
acrobatic vault.  "Mooo," it complained.

     The man glared at the beast, but before he could say
anything, two women hurried out of the house onto the veranda.
"Ranma!  You're back!  You caught them before they got to
Jusenkyo!  Thank goodness!" Kasumi exclaimed, as relieved as only
a housewife who had been fretting for three weeks that her
runaway sons would return home afflicted by Chinese curses can
be.  She came down the steps and embraced the teenager in the gi.

     "Uh, well, about that...."  Ranma trailed off.  He grimaced,
then pasted a pleasant expression on his face and nodded a
greeting to Akane.

     Kasumi let go of her younger son and looked at Ranma.  "But,
dear, Jiro-chan's just the same as he always was."  She glanced
at Jiro, suddenly doubtful.  "Isn't he?"

     "Mooo," the monstrous beast interjected.

     Reminded of the proprieties, Kasumi composed herself and
bowed to it.  "Thank you for bringing my family back from China,
Pantyhose-Taro-san," she said formally.

     "Um, I really hate to tell you this....."  Ranma trailed off
again.

     "Tell me what?"  Suddenly struck by an unwelcome thought,
Kasumi looked around.  "Where's Taro-chan, dear?"

     "And what happened to Pantyhose-Taro-kun's tenta...?"  Akane
broke off and put her hands to her mouth as her eyes widened in
horror, staring at the monster in the back yard.  It had a shaggy
pelt and great arms like a yeti, the head and hindquarters of a
bull, a crane's wings, and a tail resembling an eel, but in no
part bore any resemblance to an octopus.

     Kasumi paled.  "Taro-chan?" she whispered.

     The monster made an embarrassed lowing sound that was easily
interpreted as "Sorry about this, Mom."

     Kasumi fainted.

     ~~~~~

     Concerned faces surrounded her when Kasumi, supine on a
futon in the tearoom with a damp cloth on her forehead, awoke.
One of them was her elder son Taro.  "Taro-chan... was I
dreaming...?" she murmured.

     Several of the other faces grimaced.  "I wish," Ranma said.
He took a breath and inclined his head in apology.  "I regret to
inform you that our yak-brained son fell into the
Niuhoomanmaorenniichuan."

     "Oh, my," Kasumi said inadequately.  "The spring of drowned
yeti riding bull carrying crane and eel...."

     "I'm really sorry, Mom," Taro mumbled, still steaming a bit
where hot water had been poured on him.

     "Well, what's done is done," Kasumi replied with a sigh,
sitting up with Ranma's assistance.  "We'll manage, I suppose."
She glanced the other way to where her other son, a year younger
than Taro's seventeen summers, sat.  "At least Jiro didn't fall
into one of those dreadful springs?" she suggested hopefully.

     Ranma bit his lip and nudged Jiro with his elbow.  Jiro, his
posture upright and his face grave, shook his head.  "I'm sorry,
Okaa-sama," he said.  "I fell into one, too.  This is all my
fault.  It was my idea to run away to Jusenkyo."

     Kasumi, looking concerned, reached over and felt Jiro's
forehead.  "Are you feeling all right, Jiro-chan?"

     Akane looked more astonished than concerned.  "What happened
to the Rebel Without A Clue?  The kid whose motto was 'I didn't
do it, nobody saw me, you can't prove a thing'?" she said in
disbelief.  "Not to mention calling your mother 'Okaa-sama'
instead of 'Ofukuro'?"

     "He fell into the Jannanniichuan," said Ranma.  "The Spring
of Drowned Virtuous Man."

     Dead silence greeted this announcement, though Taro looked
like he was managing not to snicker with some difficulty.  Akane
finally found her voice.  "And telling the truth is a virtue,
right?"

     Jiro nodded.  "Yes, Akane-sensei."

     "Hah!  So confess, Jiro-kun-- it WAS you who put the octopus
in my bed, wasn't it?"

     Jiro looked at his hands and nodded again.  "Yes, that was
me.  I'm sorry I did it, and I'm sorry I lied when you asked me
if I did it.  I know I have a lot to atone for."

     "All the way home he kept trying to get us to stop at
temples so he could offer prayers to cleanse his karmic debt,"
Ranma grumbled.

     "I was going to offer prayers for you too, Otou-sama," Jiro
pointed out.

     Ranma coughed, looking suddenly uncomfortable.  "Yes, well,
that's neither here nor there."  He cast a furtive glance at
Akane, who appeared to find the ceiling intensely interesting,
then noticed something else.  "Kurone!"

     "Yes, Ranma-no-ojisama?" the youth massaging Taro's
shoulders said brightly.  Kasumi and Akane started; they hadn't
noticed him before Ranma spoke.  His baggy dark ninja-suit
probably helped there, but the way his long black hair was tied
up in a scalp-lock was definitely flamboyant.

     "Stop that," Ranma said gruffly.  "You're making Taro
uncomfortable."  Taro nodded gratefully.

     Kurone pouted, but complied.  "Oh, all right."  He released
Taro's tense shoulders with an affectionate parting pat.

     "Dear, would you be so kind as to introduce us?" Kasumi said
gently to Ranma, nodding politely in Kurone's direction.

     "I am kunoichi Saotome Kurone," the youth said proudly
before Ranma could speak.  He moved sideways on his knees a
little, placed his hands on the floor, and bowed deeply to
Kasumi.  "I am very pleased to meet you at last, Tendo-no-
okaasama.  I've heard so much about you, and all of it good.  I
hope to call you 'Mother' for real soon."  He ignored Taro's
choke and directed another bow to Akane.  "I'm glad to see you
again too, Akane-sensei."

     "Um, yes, it's been a while, Kurone-chan," Akane replied.

     "Oh, so you know each other," Kasumi said lightly, somehow
managing to convey a question along with the remark.

     Akane and Ranma exchanged glances.  "Well, I've mentioned
Kurone before," Akane said.  "We met at Ukyo and Konatsu's place
in Kyoto."

     "But I thought you said she was their daughter," Kasumi
objected.

     "She--"  Akane broke off and took another look at Kurone.
"Eep.  Excuse me," she said, reaching out and patting Kurone's
chest gingerly.  "Oh, dear...."

     "I jumped into the Nanniichuan," Kurone said cheerfully.
"Isn't it wonderful?"

     "It damn well isn't," Taro muttered.

     "Now, now, Taro darling, don't be difficult--"

     "'Jumped'?" Akane asked Ranma.  "As in on purpose?"  She did
a double-take.  "'Darling?!"

     "ME difficult?" Taro expostulated.  "YOU'RE the one who's--"

     Ranma nodded.  "As in that's the whole reason she went--"

     "--being difficult!  Carrying on as if nothing changed!"

     "--well, most of the reason, anyway--"

     "You didn't mind me 'carrying on' before!" Kurone protested.

     "--see, my idiot offspring stopped by Kyoto on the way to
China, and it was a case of, er...."

     "You were a GIRL then!"

     "Love at first sight?" Akane supplied, her eyes widening.

     Kurone looked puzzled.  "I'm a girl NOW!"

     "Well, something at first sight," Ranma said ruefully.

     "NOW, you're a GUY!  A QUEER guy!" Taro shouted, red-faced.

     "There's no need to be abusive," Jiro reproved his brother.

     "Shut your noisy face, you pompous-- OW!"  Taro clutched his
head where Ranma had clouted him.

     "I'm NOT 'queer'," Kurone maintained with dignity.  "I'm
just... adaptable."

     "Knock it off," Ranma admonished Taro.

     "Oh... my... god," Akane breathed, looking back and forth
between Kurone and Taro.  She grabbed Ranma's arm in sudden
panic.  "They didn't, um, did they?"

     "I'd be a lot less calm if I thought they had," Ranma said
reassuringly.

     Kasumi coughed politely, and the hubbub ceased.  "Do I
understand that you wish to marry my son?" she asked the young
ninja.

     Kurone nodded humbly, unable to see Taro's frantic
headshaking behind him.  "I love Taro, and I want to be his
wife," he said, blushing.  Fortunately, he didn't notice Akane's
reaction either.

     "Husband," Taro muttered, grimacing.

     "Whatever, Taro darling."

     "Will you stop calling me that?"

     "Out of the question," Ranma said emphatically, casting a
worried glance at Akane, who seemed to be having a lot of trouble
breathing.  "I'm sorry, Kurone, but you cannot marry Taro, and
that's that."

     Taro heaved a sigh of relief, but Kurone looked stunned.
"But, Oji-sama--"

     "No, I said."

     "But WHY?" Kurone wailed.

     At that Akane, who had managed to draw a breath, lost it to
another coughing fit and started pounding a fist on the tatami
matting.

     Ranma opened his mouth, then closed it again.  "Look, just
take my word for it," he said finally.  "You can't.  You just
can't."  A thought occurred to him, and he seized on it
gratefully.  "Taro seems to be opposed to it anyway."

     "He was all for it before he was cursed," Kurone pleaded.
"Oji-sama, I'm sure I can talk him around, given time.  When he
finally realizes that I still love him even though he's cursed to
change into a hideous monster, his love for me will revive!"

     "MY curse isn't the problem!" Taro burst out.  "OW!  Cut it
out, Oyaji!"  Rubbing another lump on his head, he glared
alternately at his father and his suitor.

     "I'm sorry, Kurone-san, but I forbid this," Ranma said
flatly.

     "But Oji-sama--"

     "No."

     Tears threatened to spill over from the youth's eyes, but he
maintained his composure.  "It's because I'm adopted into your
family, isn't it," he said, his voice trembling only a little.
Ranma paled.  "I'm technically his aunt, and you think that's...
weird.  But it's not like I'm related to him!"

     "Ack," Ranma managed.  He definitely didn't want that angle
pursued.  A miracle, that's what he needed, something to distract
the company before they put one and three together and got six--

     Crash!  "Nihao!"

     --but not THAT!  "Oh, shit," Ranma said with feeling,
goggling at three Chinese girls who had just made a traditional
door-disdaining entrance.  Two were twins, and one was a little
older, but all three were clearly related, and all were very
attractive in their Joketsuzoku battle garb... and probably even
more attractive out of it, from all indications.

     Reactions varied.  Akane had her face in her hand and was
shaking her head.  Ranma appeared to be in shock.  Jiro hung a
polite but wary look on his face.  Taro spun around with a glad
cry on his lips.  Kurone, a snarl distorting his comely features,
sprang to a combat stance between the intruders and Taro.
"Welcome," Kasumi said pleasantly, politely overlooking the
demolition of her shoji screens.  "Our house is yours."  She
didn't add "...so please don't wreck it," but the thought was
there.

     "I Lu Fa," the elder girl announced, drawing herself up and
gesturing to Taro.  "I come for airen.  Kurone!  You I kill!"

     "Try it," Kurone invited tersely, but his hand didn't stray
to the short sword at his side.

     The twins crossed the room in acrobatic flips over the heads
of the residents, landing neatly on either side of Jiro.  "I So
Pu," one said to everyone.

     "I Ro Pu," said the other.  They both snuggled up closely to
either side of a cringing Jiro.  "Wo ai ni," they said
affectionately in unison to their captive.

     Kasumi glanced at her younger son, who looked like he was
beset by temptation but managing to resist it by sheer force of
will and a cunning knot on his gi belt.  She turned to her elder
son, with only Kurone between him and a similar fate, but who
appeared to welcome the chance to struggle with temptation a
little himself.  Her raised-eyebrow look at Ranma spoke volumes.
Ranma's answering helpless shrug indicated eloquently that this
was one problem he'd never been able to figure out how to deal
with himself.

     "HAAAA!"  Lu Fa sprang forward, striking at Kurone.  Kurone
was ready, twisting aside and flinging something at the floor.
Pop!  A cloud of dense smoke puffed up, roiled briefly as impacts
sounded within it, and then cleared as a howl of pain filled the
room.

     Kurone staggered back, clutching his groin, his eyes
bulging.  "OW!  I didn't know they did that!  Ow, ow, ow...."
The males present winced in sympathy.

     "Aiya," Lufa gasped.  "You BOY!  I think you GIRL because
you chase airen!"  Her eyes widened.  "You GAY boy!"

     "I'm not gay!" Kurone managed.  "I'm MAD!"  He grabbed the
bowl of water Ranma had been using to moisten Kasumi's head-
cloth, dumped it on himself, and sighed in relief.  "Much better.
Why didn't you TELL me?" she accused Ranma, Taro, and Jiro.

     Ranma shrugged.  "You didn't ask?"

     "Really, you inconsiderate men!"  She wheeled on Lu Fa and
spin-kicked the surprised Joketsuzoku warrior out into the
garden, dropping her neatly into the koi pond.  Splash!

     "Lu Fa!"  Taro scrambled after her, but stopped just in
time.  "Damn, I don't want to get wet.  Jiro, could you give me a
hand here?"

     "Gladly," Jiro said, sounding relieved.  "Um, excuse me,
girls, a good deed calls-- So Pu, take your hand out of there,
please."  He extracted himself from the dual glomp sufficiently
to stagger out into the garden, an adoring twin hanging from each
side.

     "Just LEAVE her there, it's where she belongs!" Kurone
huffed.

     "Really, Kurone-chan, you hardly change at all," Akane
observed.

     "That's what I keep telling Taro-chan," Kurone said
wistfully.

     Jiro peered into the pond.  "Where is she?  Oh, I see her."
He reached down into the water and pulled out something that
wriggled.  "Here."  He handed his handful to his brother.

     Taro came back in, carefully carrying a large green frog.
"Isn't it supposed to be the handsome prince that happens to?"
Kurone asked him coldly.  "Why don't you kiss THAT and see what
happens?"

     "Oh, my goodness," Kasumi said.  "Is that--?"

     "Lu Fa," Taro confirmed, shooting Kurone a dirty look.

     "Breedeep," Lu Fa agreed sadly.

     "Spring of Drowned Frog," Ranma surmised.

     Akane giggled despite herself.  "How on Earth do you drown a
frog?" she wondered out loud.

     "Uh--"  Ranma looked absent for a moment, then shook
himself.  "Damnfino.  It doesn't matter."

     Taro picked up the kettle and tilted it above the frog.  Lu
Fa uttered a panicked croak and started to hop away, but the
splash of hot water caught her, and suddenly there was a Chinese
girl on the tatami.  SLAP!  "Fool, give CLOTHES before do that!"
she yelled at Taro, covering herself as best she could with
Kasumi's abandoned cloth.

     "Oops.  Sorry about that."  Taro looked away, blushing, but
couldn't help sneaking a peek.  Lu Fa noticed, and appeared to be
torn between clobbering him and preening for him.

     "Here," Jiro said, presenting Lu Fa with her clothing while
keeping his eyes well averted.

     Lu Fa dressed quickly, then glared at Kurone for a moment
before lowering her gaze.  "I sorry, Taro," she said.  She walked
over to Kurone, her bearing now submissive rather than proud, and
kissed her on the cheek before the startled kunoichi could move.
"Wo da airen," she said reluctantly.

     "WHAT?!" Taro shouted without wondering why Ranma was
pounding himself repeatedly on the forehead.  "Lu Fa!"

     "Is ancient Joketsuzoku law," Lu Fa said, her voice heavy
with woe.  "If outsider woman defeats Joketsuzoku woman, she must
kill her.  If outsider man defeats Joketsuzoku woman, she must
marry him."

     "I thought Taro defeated you," Ranma interjected, puzzled.

     Lu Fa shook her head.  "No, Ranma.  Taro strong, he
handsome, he nice.  I see, I love, I follow... also to help
sisters," she added, gesturing to where So Pu and Ro Pu were
attempting to cuddle with Jiro.  "But now I must marry Kurone."

     "But Kurone's a-- mmmph!"  Taro's excited cry was cut off by
Kurone's slim hand.  He struggled, but the kunoichi was stronger
than she looked.

     "Let me get this straight," Kurone purred.  "If I was a
girl, you'd have to try to kill me for defeating you, but since
I'm a boy, you have to stop chasing Taro-chan?"  She waited for
Lu Fa's unhappy nod.  "Everything's fine, then, because I'm
really a boy.  Wasn't that what you were compla-- er, saying
before Lu Fa and her sisters arrived, Taro darling?"  Kurone
lifted her hand enough for Taro to reply, but held it ready.

     "Yeah, but-- mmph!!"

     Kurone smiled at Lu Fa triumphantly.  "See, even Taro says
so."

     "You GAY boy," Lu Fa muttered.  "I no want marry gay boy.
No happy marriage that way.  Cold bed."

     "Well, you could just go back to China," Kurone insinuated.

     Lu Fa shook her head definitely.  "I follow law.  I marry
you."  She perked up a little.  "You marry Taro?  How you feel
about... what word?"  She turned to Ranma and said something in
Chinese.  Ranma choked, turned red, and started coughing.
"What?" Lu Fa protested.  "Not strangest thing!  Monster, frog,
gay-boy, how strange that?"

     Taro paled.  "You mean...?"

     "'Three-way', she said," Ranma wheezed in confirmation.

     "Hmm... do I get to be in the middle?" Kurone asked.  All
three looked blank as they pondered the possible combinations.
For a surreal moment, Ranma hoped fervently that the frog didn't
figure into any of them.

     "Ranma!" Akane gasped in outrage, elbowing him.  "What about-
-"

     "Hey, what about Jiro?" Ranma interrupted her loudly before
Akane could divulge anything... or force him to.

     Everyone looked at Jiro, bracketed by two amorous girls like
a Bible between a pair of suggestive bookends.  "Help?" his lips
shaped.

     "Speaking of three-ways," Taro muttered.

     "So Pu!  Ro Pu!  What's going on with you and Jiro?" Ranma
demanded.  The girls looked at him blankly.  Ranma switched to
Chinese and repeated his question.

     "Not enough," So Pu sighed wistfully.

     "No, I mean did he defeat you in combat?" Ranma said,
keeping a tight grip on his patience.

     The girls looked at each other and giggled.  "Sort of," Ro
Pu said.

     "Close enough," So Pu agreed.

     "HOW did he defeat you?  You two should have been able to
beat Jiro easily!  I ought to know, I've sparred with you often
enough!"

     "Tic-tac-toe," the girls said in unison.

     Ranma boggled.  "What?  How could you lose at tic-tac-toe?
No one over the mental age of eight could lose at tic-tac-toe
unless... they were... trying to...."  So Pu and Ro Pu smiled
winsomely and said nothing.  Ranma sighed and rubbed his head.
"Oh, great."

     "We both played," said So Pu.

     "We alternated moves," Ro Pu elaborated.

     "So we share," they said together, clutching Jiro
possessively.

     "He's not much fun this way, though," Ro Pu remarked.

     Ranma sighed again, turned to the others, and switched back
to Japanese.  "They say he defeated them both in combat, so they
both have to marry him.  The way I see it, they cheated, though,"
he said darkly.

     Whatever Kasumi was about to say about that was overtaken by
events, as So Pu scampered into the tearoom and came out with the
kettle.  "No, no, wait!" Jiro protested, but Ro Pu hampered his
escape long enough for So Pu to splash him with hot water.  The
Jiro that resulted looked about the same as he had before, though
rather soggier, but his demeanor was quite different.  "Hey,
babes!" he exclaimed.  The twins squealed in glee and pounced,
and this time he didn't resist.

     "Get a room," Taro called in derision.

     "Oh, my," Kasumi said weakly.  Akane covered her eyes with
her fingers and peeked out between them.  Kurone and Lu Fa
watched with amused interest.

     Ranma shook his head and bounded over.  With two quick moves
he peeled the girls off his son and pinioned them under his arms.
Jiro was left struggling on the ground under his foot.

     "Let's talk about this," he said levelly.  He repeated
himself in Chinese for the benefit of the twins, who hesitated a
moment, then nodded in a resigned way.  He set them on their feet
and let Jiro get up, but stayed between them.  "To begin with,
you're too young to get married," he said sternly to Jiro.  "And
they're even younger.  They're FIFTEEN, for crying out loud."

     Jiro shrugged rebelliously.  "They think they're old enough.
They think I'm old enough.  I don't know what YOUR problem is,
Oyaji."

     "Watch your mouth," Ranma advised curtly.  "I say you're not
old enough, and that's what matters."

     "Well, we could be engaged for a while, then," Jiro
suggested.  "You were old enough for that, so I'm old enough for
that."  He leered at the twins, who smiled warmly back.  "And
Grandma Nodoka says 'engaged couples can do this, engaged couples
can do that--'"

     "Couples, maybe!" Ranma roared.  "You're a TRIO!"

     Jiro stood his ground.  "Well, you were engaged to more than
one girl, weren't you?"

     Ranma flushed.  "Yes, and that's why I won't allow it," he
said tightly.

     "Jiro-chan, please come here," came Kasumi's voice.

     "Go talk to your mother," Ranma continued without missing a
beat.  "I have things to say to these two."

     "Well, shit," Jiro muttered under his breath, but he
slouched off toward the tearoom after only a moment's dithering.

     "Hold it right there," Ranma commanded when So Pu and Ro Pu
tried to get past him to follow Jiro.

     "But, Father!" both complained, then brightened.  "Wait,
we'll fix it," So Pu said.  They both jumped in the pond, and
suddenly there were four Chinese girls in the koi pond, two
clothed and two nude.

     Ranma's jaw dropped.  "Spring of Drowned Twins," he said
weakly.  "And I thought two of you were hard to handle.
Aiyaaa...."

     "That's just what Mother said," one of the girls observed as
all four engaged in a quick round of garment-swapping.  It took
only a few moments before they were all more-or-less decently
clad, and then all four of them streamed past Ranma.

     "Hey!" Ranma objected, grabbing the nearest two and wishing
he had more arms.

     One of the girls that had gotten away stopped and came back.
"Let her go, Father, I'll stay," she said.

     "Huh?"

     "We're both So Pu," the captives said.

     "I'm Ro Pu," the free one said.

     "You want both of us to listen to you, don't you?"

     "And we both want to be with Jiro.  This way, everyone can
have what they want!"

     "Uh, yeah, that makes sense," Ranma said dazedly, unhanding
one of the girls; she skipped away to join her sister by Jiro's
side.  "I guess...."  He refocused.  "Listen, you can't marry
Jiro!"

     "But he's so wonderful, Father," Ro Pu/2 sighed adoringly.
"I see why Mother Shan Pu insisted on marrying a Japanese man--"

     "--even though she said we couldn't have this one," So Pu/2
completed.  "She wouldn't say why, though."

     "Any boy you'd take as a student HAS to be good enough," Ro
Pu/2 said, nodding firmly.

     "She wouldn't let Lu Fa woo Taro, either--"

     "--but she wouldn't say why not--"

     "--she just turned red and had trouble breathing--"

     "--sort of like that short-haired lady in the corner was
doing--"

     "--so we all ran away, Honored Father."  Both half-twins
stopped talking and regarded Ranma expectantly.

     Ranma was silent for a moment.  "I have a really, really bad
headache," he said finally.

     "Poor Father.  Shall we rub your shoulders?"

     The offer was very tempting, but just then Kasumi's voice
floated out from the tearoom again.  "Ranma, dear...."

     "Coming," Ranma called back, trying not to sound as tired as
he felt.  He herded the girls into the tearoom ahead of him to
join the throng clustered around Jiro, who looked indecently
happy at the attention and was doing his best to make sure that
all four basked equally in the light of his regard.  "Yes,
Kasumi?"

     "I don't seem to be making much progress," Kasumi admitted.

     "Why can't I marry Taro-chan?" Kurone asked plaintively.

     "Why can't I marry Kurone?" Lu Fa demanded.

     "Why can't I marry Lu Fa?" Taro grumbled.

     "Why can't I be engaged to both, er, all four of them?" Jiro
suggested.

     It was the four-part Chinese chorus of "Why can't we marry
Jiro?" that exceeded Ranma's patience, though.  "SHUT UP!" he
thundered.  "Get this through your tiny little sex-crazed minds!
NONE of you can marry, engage, take as concubine, screw, or even
HOLD HANDS with ANY of the others!  That's FINAL!  Absolutely,
utterly, and completely FINAL!  GOT THAT?"

     In the shocked silence that ensued, Ranma contemplated the
family resemblance between the six-- no, eight-- young faces
turned towards him, and marveled that no one else had noticed.

     "Ranma, dear, we really must speak privately," Kasumi said.
Her voice was as soft and gentle as ever, but Ranma could see a
slight twitch under her right eye, and suddenly the truth was
just too heavy a burden to bear.

     "Yes, we should," he agreed.

     "Ranma?  Ranma!"  The voice from outside was that of a
terrified child, and it galvanized Ranma to bound outside as a
winged figure fluttered down into the garden.  He plunged into
the koi pond, heedless of the fish and his own Jusenkyo curse,
and was there to catch the alate youngster gently.

     "Shhh, shhh, it's all right," she soothed the bawling child
in her arms.  "You're safe now."

     "I was flying over the ocean and it was so far and I thought
I couldn't fly any more and I was gonna fall into the sea an'
drown, and then I got to land but the people yelled and ran
around and scared me so I had to keep flying."  Sniffle.  "And I
found the city but it was so big and there were big metal things
with wings that went around and around and they coulda chopped me
up into little pieces.  I dropped Mama Kiima's map, and I only
sorta remembered where you were.  I was flying around looking for
you and the sun was setting and pretty soon I'd HAVE to land, and
then I heard you yelling...."

     "You did very well," Ranma said softly, smoothing back a
lock of the child's white hair.

     "Mama said I couldn't do it," the child remarked, seeming
more composed.

     Ranma sighed.  "She meant you weren't ALLOWED to do it, you
silly featherbrain."

     "Oh."

     "But I'm surprised you were able to," Ranma said.  "Now,
there are some people you have to meet.  They won't hurt you, I
promise.  You're safe now."

     "All right."

     Ranma turned and hopped out of the pond, then came up the
steps and set the child she carried on the veranda, keeping her
hand.  The onlookers gasped; she was a little girl, perhaps nine
or ten years old, wearing a form-fitting garment like a one-piece
bathing suit, but that was not the astonishing thing.  Her
shoulders supported white-feathered wings that flexed slightly
open as she recoiled a little from the amazed looks.  "It's all
right," Ranma said reassuringly as the girl turned her head to
look up at her.  The girl's white hair was cut in bangs in front,
and braided into a little pigtail in the back, underlining the
uncanny resemblance between her young features and Ranma's
feminine face.

     Ranma's gaze wandered over the people in the tearoom,
lingering on Akane for a moment before stopping on Kasumi.
Discretion had done all it could, and now it was time to try
something else.  "This is Yokuma," she said clearly.  "My
daughter."

     ~~~~~ end The Better Part of Valor ~~~~~

     Don't take this too seriously; it's not necessarily what
"will" happen, it's just a flippant possibility.  It doesn't
really fit the tone or themes of AMAW, and is very nearly a
spamfic, but it's a little too long for that... so it's just what
it is, and I hope you enjoyed it.

     Thanks to Dave Roeder for prereading it.  :)

     -- Vince Seifert, 2000 Nov 15