Caryatid

an El-Hazard fanfiction by Vince Seifert (seifertv@csus.edu)

El-Hazard characters and situations are copyright 1995, 2001 by
AIC / Pioneer LDC, Inc.  This work is not intended to infringe
those rights.

Based on OAV I (Nights 1-7) only.

~~~~~

     Hanging a little bell in the doorway of a business wasn't a
Roshtarian custom, but it was a touch of home that maintained
Jinnai Nanami's sanity in this magnificent but bizarre world.
"Welcome!" she sang without turning when she heard its thin,
brassy chime behind her.  It took her a moment to realize that
the murmur of conversation in her cafe had gone silent, and
another to notice that everyone in her field of view was looking
at the doorway.  She turned.

     The figure silhouetted against the sunlit street wasn't the
bubbly girl that the people of Floristica were slowly getting
accustomed to seeing in the company of Mizuhara Makoto in the
weeks since their return.  Ifurita's Key staff was at her side,
and Makoto was not, and that made her a Demon Goddess rather than
the consort of a young sage.  A chair fell over, and suddenly
customers and staff alike were scrambling for the other exits.
Nanami froze with a rictus of horror on her face.  *Oh, crap, she
found out!*

     Ifurita walked into the almost-deserted cafe, brushing back
the hood of her light, sand-colored cloak with the hand that
wasn't holding her Key, and Nanami saw that her expression was
puzzled rather than furious.  "Well, that was different," she
said lightly.

     Nanami blinked.  "You mean you aren't here to toast me and
wreck the place?" she managed.

     "Not at all."  Ifurita picked up a chair, set it on its
feet, and seated herself.  "If I meant to do that, it would be
done by now."

     Indignation was starting to sprout from panic, but Nanami
managed to keep it from becoming anger; getting mad at Ifurita
was not a good long-term survival strategy.  "Then why'd you
stampede my customers?" she asked as calmly as she could manage.
She thrust her pad into a pocket and leaned against the bar,
crossing her arms.

     An odd expression came over Ifurita's face, and Nanami
realized that the Demon Goddess was trying to look apologetic,
and hadn't had much practice at it.  "I'm sorry about that,"
Ifurita said.  "I didn't think they would do that.  They weren't
doing that before...."

     "Well, Makoto was with you before."  Nanami cocked her head.
"So why isn't Makoto with you now?  Aren't you two, like, joined
at the hip?"  She was quite proud of her flippant tone; not a
trace of bitterness.

     Ifurita didn't lower her eyes and blush like a normal woman
might at that, but she did smile.  "Yes."  The smile dimmed.
"Makoto isn't here because I wanted to talk to you privately."

     "Well, we're a lot more private than I thought I was going
to be just now," Nanami muttered, glancing pointedly at the empty
tables and abandoned meals.  She gestured at the Key.  "What
about that, then?  You don't need that for a social call."

     "If I'd left it with Makoto, our conversation wouldn't be
private," Ifurita explained patiently.  "And I don't leave it
with anyone else."

     "Uh huh."  Nanami sighed.  "So, what do you want to talk to
me about?  Care to invest in a local food-service business?  Need
a job?  I don't know how popular you'd be as a waitress, but
you'd make a great bouncer--"

     "Makoto."

     "Ah."  Nanami looked past Ifurita, to where a couple of
faces displaying a little more curiosity than fear were peering
in through the doorway.  "How about we go upstairs?"

     "Yes, please," Ifurita said dryly.  Nanami shot her a sharp
glance and wondered just what sort of sense of humor Ifurita had
acquired; there wasn't much doubt that she had one.  She looked
around at the cafe, evaluating the potential pilferage if she
didn't lock up, decided she had bigger things to worry about, and
headed for the stairs.

     Ifurita rose from her chair and followed.

     "Nothing's wrong with Makoto, is it?" Nanami asked over her
shoulder as she closed the door of a sitting room that didn't
look like it got much use.

     "No, he's fine," Ifurita replied.  She hung her cloak on a
stand and settled in a high-backed armchair, leaning her Key
staff against it, near at hand.  Her robes were very white, white
enough to make her pale skin seem almost natural.

     "Well, what, then?"

     Ifurita hesitated.  "I want to give him a gift," she said
finally.

     "What, and you want my advice?  Sure!" Nanami agreed,
relieved.  "I can tell you what he likes-- wait a minute.  You
already know."

     "Yes."

     "So what... oh, you want me to show you the good shops?  I
can--"

     "He likes you."

     Nanami stared at Ifurita.  Deep blue eyes stared back.  The
silence stretched.

     "Tell me you didn't just say what I think you just said."

     Ifurita shook her head; her smile was a little sad.  "No,
that's what I said."

     "Um."  Nanami reminded herself that the most likely
explanation for this was some sort of misunderstanding, and it
promised to result in massive, possibly terminal, embarrassment
if it wasn't defused quick.  "I really hate sounding dense, but
you're going to have to lay this out for me.  What, exactly, are
you suggesting?"

     "I am suggesting that you become Makoto's lover," Ifurita
said, sounding nearly as brusque as she had amid the fires on a
palace balcony three -- or ten thousand -- years before.  "Don't
you want to?  You tried to seduce him once."

     Nanami recoiled, considered diving behind her chair, and
realized that it would sacrifice her dignity without protecting
her life.  "Eeep!  You DO know about that!"

     "Of course I know," said Ifurita impatiently.  "He didn't
try to hide it from me."

     "Then you know he turned me down."

     "And I know why."  Ifurita paused and gave Nanami a
speculative look.  "I think you know why, too."

     "Because of you."  Nanami sighed.  "He was nice about it...
maybe he was even tempted... but he wasn't going to cheat on you.
He didn't say so, but it was like you were in the room with us.
He worked for almost three years, trying to figure out how to get
you back, and I don't think a single hour went by that he didn't
think of you."

     "Yes," Ifurita said softly.  "I know the feeling."

     "Then you're not mad?"

     "How could I be?"

     "How can you NOT be?  I tried to steal him from you!  He was
discouraged, and you were gone, and I was lonely, and I thought I
had a chance--"  Nanami broke off, biting her lip.

     Ifurita waited to be sure Nanami wouldn't continue, then
said, "And now you have another chance."  She leaned forward a
little in her chair.  "He was tempted.  He's wanted you for a
long time, you know."

     "Why would he want me?" Nanami burst out.  "He has YOU!"
Her gesture took in the Demon Goddess' mane of ice-blue hair,
alabaster skin, sculpted features, and lush figure.  "They're
singing songs about you two in the city, you know?  The romantic
ones talk about the eternal love of Makoto and Ifurita, but there
are bawdy ones, too.  Everyone knows you're living in his rooms
in the palace, and everyone figures you're screwing his brains
out!"

     "Is that what those looks are about?" Ifurita said, eyebrows
raised.  "How... ironic."

     "You mean you're not?"

     "Nanami...."  Again Ifurita hesitated.  "Let me tell you a
story.  Long ago, the most powerful Demon God weapon was
constructed.  It could have been any humanoid shape, and the
assimilation principle would still have worked.  For some reason
I never understood, it suited my makers to fashion me in the
shape of a woman.  You've seen building columns sculpted like
women, haven't you?  I hope that sort of artistic impulse was the
reason... but it occurs to me that my masters were all men,
powerful men, and they may have wished the most devastating
weapon at their disposal to appear female.

     "Now, of course, I'm glad to be this shape, because Makoto
finds it attractive.  But I was not designed or built to be a...
concubine."

     Nanami couldn't help looking at Ifurita's lap.  "You
mean...."

     Ifurita smiled a wry smile and shrugged.  "I'm a weapon, not
a woman."

     "Oh... dear," Nanami said inadequately.  After a moment she
added, "Poor Makoto."

     "That's what I thought when he realized, too.  I would
gladly do anything he wants, of course, but I'm not...
equipped... for that."

     Nanami could easily imagine the scene.  "I'll bet he was as
red as a tomato," she mused.

     "How did you guess?"  This was accompanied by an impish
smile.

     "But, you know, there are other ways...."  Nanami looked
down, flushing.  "I don't know from personal experience myself,
of course, but I've heard.... I mean, you have hands, you have
breasts, a mouth...."

     "Thank you for the suggestions," Ifurita said quietly, her
smile gone.  "I'm afraid it would concern Makoto that I was not
gaining any more pleasure from it than the pleasure of pleasing
him, though."

     "Yeah.  That's because he's a nice guy."

     "And, of course, I can't give him children."

     Nanami looked up at that.  "That's a lot more than 'lover'
you're talking about there.  You're talking 'wife'."

     "If you and he wish it, yes."  Ifurita's gaze did not waver.

     "And you'd give him up?"

     "If he wished it, yes."  The distinction was clear in the
small, challenging curve of Ifurita's lips.

     "You love him that much?"

     Ifurita frowned a little.  "'Love' is not the right word.
Before Makoto, I wished for nothing more than to stop existing.
Ancient and bloodstained as I am, he set me free, he shared his
humanity with me, he made me a home in his own memories... and he
rescued me, for no practical reason at all, across a gulf that is
difficult even to imagine.  I don't know the word for what I feel
for him... but his smallest happiness is my greatest desire."

     "You would rather stay with him and -- and his wife,
though?"

     "I want to remain his friend, his companion, his guardian,
and his champion," said the Demon Goddess.  "But if he has to
choose between me and a wife and family, I will stand aside."

     "Um... wouldn't you be jealous?"

     "Of course I'd be jealous!" The harsh tone was back, and the
lovely blue eyes seemed to blaze with lightning.  "I got my
emotions from Makoto, and HE'D be jealous!  I want to be the one
to make him happy!  But I CAN'T, not that way!  YOU can, so I
came to you, because you're his friend, and maybe even mine!"

     "Easy," Nanami said soothingly.  "Just trying to understand
the situation."

     "Then you'll do it?" Ifurita asked warily.

     "Not a chance."  Nanami laughed without mirth.  "I'll stay
his friend, and yours, 'cause we'll all get hurt -- probably me
worst -- if I take you up on your offer."  Ifurita's face was
impassive; Nanami couldn't tell whether she was relieved or
disappointed.  Well, that was fair.  "I've gotten some offers
from the local men; I turned them down because... well, I thought
they were more interested in a partnership than a relationship,
you know?  And I guess I was still thinking I had a chance with
Makoto.  But now that you're here....  Maybe I'll take the next
offer."

     "But what about Makoto?" Ifurita whispered.  "What will I
do?"

     Nanami stood and stretched.  "You really want some advice?"

     "Yes.  Please."

     "Let him arrange his own love life," Nanami admonished,
shaking her finger in the face of El-Hazard's most effective
weapon.  "Maybe he can live without it; I'm pretty sure he wasn't
getting any while he was working on the Project.  Maybe you and
he can find a way.  Maybe someone will find the guts to make a
pass at him, and you can delicately let him know that it's okay
with you... because it should be.  Because..."  Nanami took a
deep breath to steady her voice.  "Because no one can take him
away from you."

     "Nanami...."

     "And anyone who tries to take you away from him needs her
head examined."

     Right on cue, a shout filtered up from downstairs, a shout
carrying a heavy cargo of worry, frustration, and where-the-hell-
is-my-girlfriend: "IFURITAAAAA!"

     "See?"  Nanami raised her voice.  "UP HERE, MAKOTO-CHAN!"

     "You meant me, didn't you?" Ifurita asked in dawning
realization.

     The thunder of footsteps on the stairs spared Nanami from
replying, but she smirked.

     The door burst open and Makoto dashed in, breathing hard.
His eyes darted around the room, apparently expecting carnage,
and fastened on Ifurita as she rose from the chair.

     "I'm fine, Makoto-chan," Nanami said indulgently, waving a
hand at him which he didn't see because his attention was fully
occupied.  "Just go ahead and hug your demon-goddess, don't mind
me."

     Makoto disentangled himself, but not all the way.  "Oh,
sorry.  I was just... uh... there wasn't any trouble, then?"

     "Trouble?"  Nanami gave him a sly smile, and saw it mirrored
by Ifurita.  "Not at all -- why do you ask?"

     Makoto looked from one woman to the other, realized that he
was outnumbered, and executed a quick tactical retreat.  "Uh...
no reason, never mind."

     "We were just having a little chat, weren't we?  But now I
have to go back to running my place, and I'm sure you have things
to do, so...."  Nanami flapped her hands to shoo her guests out.
Ifurita let go of Makoto long enough to don her cloak and pick up
her staff, then shot Nanami a warm parting glance before
cheerfully disputing precedence with Makoto at the door.  She
won, striding out lockstepped behind her man and a little to the
side; it was clear who was escorting who.

     Nanami watched them go and thought about the other reason
she'd turned down Ifurita's offer.  *I can find someone else, but
there's only one Makoto, and you need him more than I do.  I
guess I am your friend, after all.*

     ~~~~~ end Caryatid ~~~~~

Thanks to Dave Roeder and Darniil Entroth for prereading, and thanks to
the writers of El-Hazard fanfic; there aren't enough of you.  :)

  -- Vince Seifert  2001Dec15