Seven Samurai of Anime: Planetary Defense Catgirl Nuku-Nuku!

by Vince Seifert (seifertv@csus.edu)

Banno Bunka Nekomusume characters and situations are copyright
1992 Movic/King Records/Yuzo Takada/Futaba Sha.  This work
is not intended to infringe those rights.

     ~~~~~

     Kyoko was worried.  Being worried wasn't on her job
description, but it should have been, along with "keep Arisa away
from explosives" and "make sure nothing's leaking from the
aircraft".  As it was, most of her duties seemed to fall into the
category of "other tasks as may be assigned," which evidently
included everything from serving coffee to visiting generals to
detecting and correcting poorly-chosen fly-by-wire control-law
parameters while the vehicle being controlled was falling out of
the sky with her aboard.

     "No, really, Arisa," she said to her officemate, who was
lining up a dart at a poster-size blowup of an attractive girl
with long pink hair wearing a high-school uniform.  "Haven't you
noticed anything different about Lady Akiko recently?"

     Arisa threw.  The dart hit the poster, puncturing the girl's
left elbow.  "Damn.  Missed."  Arisa glared at Kyoko.  "You
spoiled my concentration."

     Kyoko sighed.  "If you'd just stop playing silly games for a
minute--"

     "I'm improving my eye-hand coordination!"

     "--and listen to me--"

     Arisa waved a hand.  "Lady Akiko is just fine," she declared
loudly, cutting Kyoko off.

     Kyoko briefly considered a snide comment about Arisa's brain-
mouth coordination, thought better of it, and tried again.  "But
she's been so... subdued.  She hasn't called us into her office
to chew us out in weeks.  She hasn't sent us off on a, er,
personal errand for her in just about as long.  She hasn't even
played The Tape lately."  The Tape, of course, was the videotape
her estranged (and very strange) husband Kyusaku Natsume had made
just before absconding from the company labs with their young son
Ryunosuke and as much expensive equipment as would fit into a
Land-Rover; it never failed to whip Lady Akiko up into a frenzy
of rage and grief for one reason or the other.

     Arisa favored Kyoko with a level stare.  "And your point
is?"

     "My point is, she's not... herself."

     Arisa's rejoinder was interrupted by a chime from the
intercom.  "Arisa.  Kyoko.  Please come see me immediately,"
Natsume Akiko's voice said from the speaker.

     "At once, Lady Akiko!" Kyoko said hastily.  The intercom
chimed again and went silent.

     Arisa managed to look both smug and concerned.  "Well, I
hope you're satisfied.  We're probably going to get chewed out
now."

     "But we haven't done anything!" Kyoko wailed, peering into a
mirror and giving her mousy brown hair a once-over.

     "That never stopped her before."  Arisa levered herself up
out of her chair, made sure her blouse was tucked in all the way
around, and walked out of the office with Kyoko close on her
heels.

     ~~~~~

     Natsume Akiko wasn't worried; the concerns of the CEO of
Mishima Heavy Industries, one of Japan's largest manufacturers of
high-tech devices for personal, commercial, and military
applications, were such as to make "worry" a thoroughly
inadequate term.  The floor-to-ceiling window that was one wall
of her immense office looked out over Tokyo from the thirtieth
floor of the MHI building, forming a fitting backdrop for her
wraparound desk laden with the latest computing and
communications equipment.  The desk, in turn, formed the perfect
setting for Lady Akiko: a tall, slim woman elegantly dressed in
modern business attire.

     She didn't look up as Arisa and Kyoko marched into her
office until they were standing before her desk.  "Ah, you are
prompt," she said, inspecting them.  Arisa, statuesque and dark-
haired, somehow managed to give the impression that her pink
blazer should have been a bomber jacket; her partner, Kyoko, was
slightly built and less flamboyant, but where Arisa's expression
radiated enthusiasm, Kyoko's showed intelligence.

     Akiko stood up, picked up two envelopes from her desk, and
moved around it to her subordinates.  "As your performance this
last month has been exemplary," she told them, "I am pleased to
give you your bonuses."  She held out an envelope to each of
them, inclining her head.

     Sweatdrops sprang out on the heads of the two women.  "Thank
you, My Lady!" they chorused, accepting the envelopes with deep
bows.  "Um..." Kyoko continued diffidently, "Lady Akiko-- ow!"
Arisa had trodden heavily on her foot.

     "Yes?" Akiko said, raising an eyebrow.

     "Nothing, Lady," Arisa said over Kyoko's whimpers.  "She's
just overcome with, with gratitude!  Yes, that's it!"

     "Ah.  Splendid."  Akiko walked around behind her desk again,
sat down, and regarded them.  "I have a task for you."

     Kyoko and Arisa braced to attention.  "Lady!"

     "Bring me the NK-1124."

     Kyoko and Arisa glanced at each other.  "You mean Natsume
Atsuko?" Kyoko asked carefully.

     "Nuku-Nuku?" Arisa chimed in.

     Akiko looked blank for a moment, then nodded.  "Yes.  Yes,
bring her here."

     "Um--" Kyoko began, but stopped suddenly when Arisa shifted
her weight.

     "Lady Akiko, can we use the ATCCV-X?" Arisa asked eagerly.

     Akiko waved her hand.  "Use whatever you feel is necessary,"
she said casually.  "I have full confidence in your judgment."

     "Yes!" Arisa exulted.  "Come on, Kyoko!"  She seized her
partner by the elbow and headed for the door.

     "Um, Lady Akiko--" Kyoko called from the doorway, but then
she suddenly disappeared as though yanked from the other side,
and the door slid shut.

     Akiko stared unblinking at the door for a few seconds, then
shrugged.  She touched a control on her console and  shutters
began to roll down along the window-wall of her office.  In a few
seconds the room was dark, and lights came on.  Akiko stood and
walked to a solid cube that appeared to be an end table, placing
her hand flat on its side near one corner for a few seconds.

     "Open communication to Central," she told the cube in a
language that was not of Earthly origin.

     "Voiceprint accepted.  Stand by," the cube responded.
"Central online."

     "Technocrat Darshian reporting," Akiko said to the cube. "I
have completed phase one.  Production of strobolators,
diagliders, and interociters using local materials and labor is
underway.  I have begun phase two; the immobilization of the NK-
1124 will render Dr. Natsume Kyusaku vulnerable to capture.  I
will shortly require the assistance of my mate.  Please arrange
for the transfer of Technocrat Mareg to the MHI lander."

     "Message received.  I will inform the General."

     "Darshian out."  Akiko touched the cube again, then
straightened and walked back to her desk, absently rubbing the
small device tucked behind the curve of her right ear.

     ~~~~~

     Natsume Atsuko, known as "Nuku-Nuku" to her many friends and
as "that damn schoolgirl android" to her few (but persistent)
adversaries, never worried.  Even had she known what was about to
happen, she wouldn't have worried.  For the moment, Ryunosuke was
happy, Kyusaku was happy, and Nuku-Nuku had managed to sneak in a
half-hour nap in the sun on the roof of the school after lunch;
these three facts together meant Nuku-Nuku was happy.  She
pedaled Ryunosuke's bicycle home from school with Ryunosuke on
the back and a purr in her heart, ignoring the screams and yells
from drivers who didn't come this way regularly and hence had no
idea what to expect.

     Nuku-Nuku bicycled like a super-powered android with digital
reflexes and a cat's understanding of traffic regulations, which
was exactly what she was.  Ryunosuke held on, grinning like a kid
on a ride that was exciting almost to the point of being
terrifying, which was exactly what he was.

     Nuku-Nuku's long pink hair streamed back in the wind of her
passage, and her high-school uniform flapped in time with her
pedaling.  The bicycle launched off a parked car, sailed over a
wall, and bounced to a stop in the parking lot of the apartment
building they called home.

     "YOU!  SCHOOLGIRL ANDROID!  YOU WILL COME WITH US!  LADY
AKIKO ORDERS IT!"  The bullhorn nearly made Kyoko's voice
unrecognizable, but not quite.  Nuku-Nuku and Ryu turned to see
an MHI transporter truck drawn up in the street outside the
apartments.

     Ryu waved.  "Hi, Kyoko!" he called, dismounting.  "How are
you?  Did you bring Arisa?"

     "I'M FINE--"  The bullhorn cut off with an embarrassed cough
and resumed at a lower volume.  "I'm fine, Master Ryunosuke,
thank you for asking.  Yes, Arisa's here.  For the second time,
android, come with us!"

     "Sorry, I have to do the dishes," Nuku-Nuku replied
cheerfully.

     "You dare defy Lady Akiko's orders?" the bullhorn thundered
weakly.  "Then you will be subject to the Mishima Heavy
Industries All-Terrain Crowd Control Vehicle, Experimental: the
Riot Spider!"

     The sides of the transporter swung down with a hiss of
hydraulics, and the mecha inside unfolded and stood up on eight
articulated legs.  It did look a lot like a spider.  Ryu and Nuku-
Nuku could clearly see Arisa's determined expression behind
angled transparent slabs at the "head".

     "Oh, it's so cute!" Nuku-Nuku breathed.  She turned to Ryu
and clasped her hands in front of her chest.  "Oh, please,
Ryunosuke, can I?" she pleaded.  "I've been good for a whole
month-- well, almost."  She guiltily recalled The Incident With
The Soda-Vending Machine.  "Pleeeeease?!"

     Ryu glanced at the Riot Spider, which was stepping
delicately down off the transporter, and smiled indulgently.
"Well, all right.  I'll take my bicycle."  His expression turned
stern.  "Now don't damage anything else, you hear?"

     Nuku-Nuku hopped off the bicycle, handed it off to Ryu, and
jumped up and down, clapping.  "Yaaay!  Don't worry!  Nuku-Nuku
will be careful!"

     "Have fun!" Ryu called back over his shoulder as he walked
the bicycle rapidly towards the building entrance.

     Nuku-Nuku watched the Riot Spider delightedly as its legs
rippled in precise sequence, carrying it across the nearly-empty
parking lot towards her.  "Nyaah!" she called.  "Can't catch me!"
She turned her rear towards the approaching Riot Spider and
patted it tauntingly.

     Steam burst from the Spider's power unit and it quickened
its pace to an octopedal trot.  Nuku-Nuku waited until it was
almost upon her and then skittered aside in a quick series of
rolls.  She came to her feet next to a leg that was about to move
and grabbed it.  Spider servomotors struggled against android
pseudomuscles, but then the Spider stopped, lifted the leg to
which Nuku-Nuku was clinging, and flicked it sharply.  The
catgirl sailed through the air and landed with a crunch on a
compact car, indenting its hood deeply.

     Nuku-Nuku rolled off the little car and stared at it in
horror.  "Oh, no!  Mr. Kimura will have kittens!"  She wheeled
and fixed the pilot of the Spider with a vengeful glare.  "You'll
pay for that!"  She charged the Spider, wearing a look of grim
determination.

     The Spider pivoted slightly.  The stubby gunbarrels under
its "chin" aimed and fired in two quick coughs.  As the
projectiles left the guns, they spread into wide nets.  Nuku-Nuku
dodged one, but the other tagged her on the foot, spinning her in
midair.  She fell hard, catching herself with her arms, then got
up and took a step-- or tried to.  She looked down.  The sticky
webbing of the net had wrapped around her foot and adhered to the
pavement, immobilizing her.

     "WA-HA-HA-HAAA!" the Spider's amplified voice laughed
triumphantly.  "I HAVE YOU NOW!"  The Spider advanced menacingly.
Nuku-Nuku watched, struggling, as its foreleg lifted and poised
to crush her.  She rolled aside just in time, and the foreleg
came down on the webbing.

     It stuck.

     While Arisa was flailing at the controls trying to get the
Spider unstuck, Nuku-Nuku grabbed the next leg over and used it
as leverage to pull free of the sticky webbing, leaving one shoe
and sock behind.  "Nuku-Nuku PUNCH!" she cried, aiming a blow at
the leg's "shin".  Crack!  The armor disintegrated; Nuku-Nuku
ripped the lower leg off and tossed it aside.

     "HEY!" Arisa protested as Nuku-Nuku reached for the next
leg.  The Spider hastily ripped free of the webbing and
backpedaled, limping mechanically.  The net-guns swiveled, but
Nuku-Nuku was already moving, and the shots entangled a parked
motorcycle and a newspaper vending machine.

     Nuku-Nuku circled the Spider faster than it could turn, but
not faster than Arisa could reach another control: spray nozzles
all around the Spider sent a flood of liquid across the parking
lot.  Nuku-Nuku's running foot hit the liquid and she discovered
very suddenly that it was slipperier than the finest lubricating
oil.  "Woooops!"  She fell and slid across the parking lot,
fetching up with a thump against a Nissan sedan.

     The Spider advanced over the slick paving, the sharp spikes
on its feet preventing it from slipping.  Nuku-Nuku tried to get
up, slipped, and fell again.   She watched the Spider approach
and wished fervently that she still had claws.  Suddenly she
ripped the other shoe and sock off, careful not to get any of the
slippery stuff on her foot.  She poised herself carefully on
extended arms, put her dry foot on a bit of paving that hadn't
been splashed, and leapt.

     Arisa watched in disbelief from the cab as Nuku-Nuku sailed
over her head and landed behind her.  In the rear-view mirrors
she saw the catgirl wrap her arms around the rotating-light
housing and hold on for dear life.  She grinned viciously and
tapped another control.

     ZAAAAAP!  "Aiiieee!"  The system designed to deter rioters
from touching the ATCCV-X had worked perfectly, dumping a sizable
charge of electricity into Nuku-Nuku as she lay on the Spider's
metal skin.  Twitching and smoking, Nuku-Nuku slid off the top of
the Spider and fell down between its body and its legs.  Arisa
shifted the controls, intending to crush Nuku-Nuku by raising the
legs on that side.  She neglected to consider the effects of the
slippery stuff coating the catgirl.

     POIT!  Like a watermelon seed between the fingers, Nuku-Nuku
shot up out of the narrowing space and flew across the parking
lot.  Her enhanced sensor arrays snapped up and locked into place
behind her ears.  She twisted in midair and landed on a third-
floor balcony.

     "Nyaah!" Nuku-Nuku yelled, thumbing her ears at the Spider.
The Spider moved forward, still limping.  It reached the
apartment building, probed carefully at the wall with its
forelegs, then started to climb.  Nuku-Nuku looked down and
gulped.

     Back at the transporter, Kyoko gulped too and grabbed the
mike.  "Arisa, that's NOT in the specifications!"

     "Shut up," Arisa's preoccupied voice came back.  "I know
what I'm doing."  The Spider continued to climb up the front of
the building.  Kyoko watched breathlessly.

     Nuku-Nuku grabbed a neglected towel and cleaned the slippery
stuff off herself as best she could, finishing just as the
Spider's legs reached over the balcony, spalling chips off the
concrete.  She darted between them, bounced off the Lexan slab in
front of Arisa's face, and leapt to the next balcony up, then the
next.  The Spider followed cautiously.

     Nuku-Nuku waited on the roof, examining her nails, until the
forefeet of the Spider came over the parapet and gripped it.
"Nuku-Nuku Kick," she said casually.  Arisa froze.  Punt!  The
MHI Riot Spider seemed to hang in midair for a long moment seven
stories above the concrete, then fell, legs flailing.

     CRASH!

     Nuku-Nuku peered over the parapet just in time to see the
seven remaining legs of the Spider, which had given their all to
try to cushion the impact, succumb to a terminal case of
operation outside design parameters and collapse.  Kyoko jumped
down from the transporter and ran over to the cab.  "Arisa!  Are
you all right?"

     "BIRDIES..." Arisa muttered dazedly.  The bullhorn was still
working perfectly.  Kyoko tried to open the cab door, but it was
jammed or locked.  She ran to the transporter for a crowbar, then
tried again, with no better success.

     "Here, let me!"  Nuku-Nuku stepped in, not even breathing
hard from her dash down the stairwell, and ripped the cab door
off its hinges.

     "Thanks," Kyoko said absently, squeezing in to extract Arisa
from her harness.

     Arisa recovered her senses and staggered out of the smashed
Spider.  "What a mess," she groaned, surveying the wreckage.

     Nuku-Nuku giggled.  "That was fun!  Thanks so much for
coming over to play with me!  I'll help you clean up, then we can
go see Mama-san!"

     Kyoko and Arisa gaped at Nuku-Nuku.  The catgirl was
barefoot and her hair was still frizzy from the electric charge;
her uniform was shredded, soaked with slippery stuff, and
festooned with sticky stuff, and yet she looked like it was her
birthday and she'd just gotten the best present she could
imagine.  Humming, she picked up the main body of the defunct
Riot Spider, staggered over to the tranporter with it, and
carefully deposited it it on the bed.  Then she started
retrieving the legs.

     Kyoko watched, dumbfounded.  "She's crazy," she said with
feeling.  Arisa nodded.  "I wish I was that crazy," Kyoko added.
Arisa nodded again.

     ~~~~~

     Nuku-Nuku had managed to straighten her hair and clean off
the webbing and slime before coming into Lady Akiko's office, but
her uniform was still tattered and her feet were bare.  Akiko
looked up from her desk and frowned, then noticed Arisa's
battered condition and frowned some more.  "Were there
difficulties?" she demanded, rising.

     "No more than usual, Lady," Kyoko began wearily.

     "Hssss!"  Nuku-Nuku had bared her teeth and was backing
slowly away from Akiko.  Her enhanced sensors were deployed.
"You're not Mama-san!  What have you done with Mama-san?!"

     "Stop that at once, NK-1124," Akiko commanded.  "You two,
restrain the android and take it to Lab 14."

     Arisa and Kyoko looked at each other, then looked back at
Akiko and pointed to their own noses.  "Us?" they chorused.

     Akiko gave them an annoyed look.  "Is there anyone else
here?  Yes, of course you."

     Kyoko and Arisa looked back at each other, gulped, and
turned to Nuku-Nuku.  "Um, be a good girl and come with us,"
Kyoko quavered.

     "Surrender before we get hurt," Arisa added hopefully.

     Nuku-Nuku spared them a glance apiece, then whirled and ran
out the door.  Kyoko and Arisa ran after her without much
enthusiasm.  Akiko watched them go and listened to the crashes,
shouts, and explosions dwindling in the distance.  She turned to
her desk and poked at it.  "Security alert," she told the desk.

     "Yes, Lady Akiko!" a voice responded.

     "An android resembling a schoolgirl is attempting to escape
the building.  See to it that it does not succeed.  Do not damage
the android."

     There was a short pause.  "Yes, Lady Akiko.  We'll do our
best."  The voice didn't sound very confident.

     Akiko stared at the desk and shook her head.  "Humans," she
muttered to herself.  "They deserve to be invaded."  She poked
the desk again and spoke, this time in that unearthly language.
"Sergeant.  Darshian speaking."

     "Yes, Technocrat?"

     "Phase Two protocols are in effect.  Maintain security with
respect to unhacked MHI personnel, but prepare your squads for
covert operations in Nerima."

     "Yes, Technocrat!"  The voice sounded eager.

     "Darshian out."

     ~~~~~

     Kyusaku and Ryunosuke were just beginning to wonder what to
do about dinner when the door of their apartment slammed open and
Nuku-Nuku burst in.  "Papa-san!" she wailed.  "She wasn't there!"

     Kyusaku frowned somewhere under his unruly mop of black
hair.  "I thought you went to see Akiko," he ventured.

     "I did!  But it wasn't her!  She was someone else!"

     "Calm down, Nuku-Nuku," Kyusaku said soothingly.  He
motioned for Ryu to shut the door.  "So you went to MHI, and what
happened?"

     "Well, Kyoko and Arisa took me to Mama-san's office, and she
was there-- well, she LOOKED like Mama-san, but she WASN'T Mama-
san!"

     "How could you tell it wasn't Akiko?" Kyusaku asked
patiently.

     Nuku-Nuku wrung her hands.  "Nuku-Nuku doesn't know!  But it
wasn't Mama-san!"

     Kyusaku and Ryunosuke exchanged glances.  "Nuku-Nuku's
pretty good at that stuff, Dad," Ryu pointed out.  "Android,
maybe?"

     Kyusaku shook his head doubtfully.  "Maybe.  Or maybe it's--"
He broke off and returned his attention to the distressed catgirl.
"Let's have a look at your sensor recordings."

     Nuku-Nuku covered the back of her head with both hands and
shook her head.  "Oh, Papa-san, please, not that!"

     "Now, Nuku-Nuku, be a good girl," Kyusaku said gruffly.

     "It's for Mom," Ryu chimed in.  "If something's wrong, we
gotta help her."

     "But it tickles," Nuku-Nuku whined.  She followed Kyusaku
into his half-height "office", though, and deployed her enhanced
sensors dutifully.  Kyusaku rooted around and found an interface
cable, blew the dust off the end, and carefully plugged it into
Nuku-Nuku's head at the base of her left sensor array.

     "Hold still, now," he said, tapping at a keyboard.  "This'll
just take a second."  Data streamed by on the screen, and Nuku-
Nuku squirmed.

     "Papa-san--"

     "Almost done, just a little more... ah, there."  Kyusaku
detached the cable and Nuku-Nuku's sensors folded away with a
mechanical click and a sigh of relief.

     Images popped up on the screen: the bright colors of passive
infrared, the hard green lines of millimeter-band radar, the blue
wisps of stimulated Kirlian, the gray blobs of Doppler
ultrasonar, the comblike graphs of spectral audio.  Kyusaku
studied them.  "She's right," he said finally.  "That's not
Akiko.  Not an android, either.  Huh."

     "Dad," Ryu said tightly, his fist clenched.  "Is Mom all
right?"

     "I don't know," Kyusaku said absently.  He suddenly appeared
to realize what he'd said and turned to face them.  "I'm sure
she'll be just fine," he said soothingly.  "Let Father work on
this a little and we'll see what's what, eh?"  He turned back to
the screen and disappeared into his own little world.  Ryu and
Nuku-Nuku backed out of the confined space and stared at each
other in dismay.

     ~~~~~

     "Now will you believe me?" Kyoko said to Arisa.  Both had
retreated to their office after Nuku-Nuku had made good her
escape from MHI; both expected to be called on the carpet at any
moment.  The tour group from a girls' high school in the building
had come as a confusing and embarrassing surprise to the security
guards detailed to stop an inadequately-described android from
leaving.

     "About what?"

     "About Lady Akiko!  Even the android thinks there's
something wrong with her!"

     "Bah."  Arisa waved a hand in dismissal.

     "Look at the evidence!  No rages, no fits, no wild-goose-
chases... she even gave us bonuses this month, and she NEVER does
that!"

     Arisa sat up suddenly, leaned forward, and stared Kyoko
straight in the eyes.  "Exactly!  Things have never been this
good before, and I don't want to mess it up!"

     "But what about Lady Akiko?  To you she may be a cash-
dispenser or a symbol of, of feminist principles or something,
but she's a person, and something's WRONG with her!"

     Arisa looked slightly abashed.  "Well, maybe, but still--"

     Kyoko seized eagerly on the crack in Arisa's denial.  "Here,
look at this."  She swiveled her monitor around so Arisa could
see it too and keyed rapidly.  A spreadsheet flashed up.

     Arisa peered at the screen.  "What's this?"

     "Money movements.  This is the master file that actually
generates the orders that go out from the top office to the
department managers, not the one that goes to the Board.  This is
Reality."

     Arisa looked stricken.  "What?  How--"

     "Look here," Kyoko interrupted.  "Some of MHI's most
profitable lines are being converted to other products, and some
of the losers are getting a lot of money all of a sudden.  The
changes happened right about the time Lady Akiko started acting
differently."

     "I don't--"

     "And when I sniffed around a bit, I started running into
security checks.  People in those labs wouldn't talk to me at
lunch, even when I wore the special blouse."

     "Just another black project--"

     "Yes, that's what I thought, until I found this."  She
tapped a key, and a design file opened on the screen.

     Arisa leaned forward; numbers didn't interest her, but
gadgets did.  "What the hell IS this thing?"

     "Well, see here: it flies...."

     "But how?  No wings, no rotors, no--"  Arisa's jaw dropped.
"No way."

     Kyoko pointed at the screen.  "Explain that, then."

     Arisa stared at the oddly-shaped structure at the heart of
the small vehicle.  She was intimately familiar with every
principle humans had devised to get craft into the air, and this
wasn't one of them.  Worse, it had none of the flavor of a device
conceived by human engineers.  "It can't be...."

     "I didn't want to believe it myself.  It sounds like one of
those silly American TV shows.  Reverse-engineered
technology...."

     "Well, maybe, but that doesn't mean we stole it from
extraterrestrials!"

     Kyoko snorted.  "Don't be silly.  If the Americans or anyone
else had antigravity, we'd know."

     "YOU'RE talking about ALIENS, and YOU'RE calling ME silly?!"
It didn't occur to Arisa that Kyoko had not, in fact, mentioned
aliens; the image on the screen had spoken for itself.

     "Shhh!" Kyoko hissed.  "Keep your voice down!"

     Arisa lowered her voice.  "And where the hell did you get
this stuff, anyway?" she whispered intensely.

     Kyoko smirked.  "Oh, a password here, a decryption
there...."

     Arisa looked appalled.  "Good God, girl, if they find out
you're up to your old tricks they'll bust BOTH of us back to the
typing pool so fast it'll take our butts a week to catch up!"

     "I covered my tracks!" Kyoko protested.

     "I don't care!  Look, just sweep all this under the rug and
forget about it, that's the ticket.  Let Lady Akiko have a mid-
life change if she wants one."

     Kyoko eyed Arisa and decided to play her trump card.  "What
about the Viper, then?"

     "What?"

     Kyoko flipped back to the master file and pointed.  "There.
Funding for the Viper project has been zeroed."

     "WHAT?!"  Arisa grabbed the screen and stared at it.  "No!
It was going to be so cool!  I had a hand in the design, even!
It was going to be the fastest, meanest thing in the sky--"

     "--and we were going to get to test-fly it," Kyoko
completed.  "Now its funding is going to one of these alien-
technology projects."

     Arisa stood up, stared past the wall, and raised a clenched
fist.  "We have to do something about this," she declared.  "It's
our duty as, as MHI employees to save the company from hostile
alien takeovers!"  She dropped the pose and looked at Kyoko, who
was returning her a look of mingled disgust and satisfaction.
"So now what?"

     "Now I hack around a little more," Kyoko said, turning back
to her console.  "Then we go see Dr. Natsume."

     "Kyusaku?  Nuku-Nuku?!"

     Kyoko nodded.

     "Oh, swell," Arisa complained, collapsing into her swivel
chair.

     ~~~~~

     Ryu answered the doorbell at the Natsume apartment.  "Hello?
Oh, hi, Arisa, Kyoko!"

     "May we come in, young master?" Kyoko asked, looking over
her shoulder at the Nerima night.

     "Oh, sure, c'mon in.  Hey, Nuku-Nuku, look who's here!"  Ryu
shut the door behind the two women, who were wearing black
raincoats and hats, and looked like they wished they were wearing
dark glasses.

     "Hi!" Nuku-Nuku said cheerfully, coming in from her room.
"You look like spies in a late-night movie!  Did you come to play
some more?"

     Arisa grimaced.  "Er, no," Kyoko answered.  Nuku-Nuku's face
fell.  "Actually, we're here to see your father.  We need his
help with a little, ah, problem."

     Ryu's expression became guarded.  "Is this something to do
with Mom?"

     Arisa and Kyoko glanced at each other.  "Yes, that's right,"
Kyoko admitted.

     "I'll get him."  Ryu slid open the door to Kyusaku's office
and crawled in.  A moment later he backed out, with Kyusaku
following him.

     Kyusaku stood up, examined the two women, and grinned widely
without losing the cigarette that dangled from his mouth.
"Always a pleasure, ladies," he said gallantly.  "What can I do
for you?"

     "You can help us defend Mishima from an alien invasion!"
Arisa burst out.

     "Alien invasion?" Ryu and Nuku-Nuku repeated incredulously,
then noticed that Kyusaku didn't look surprised.

     "The Nigetanji," Kyusaku said off-handedly.

     Everyone else blinked.  "The who?" Kyoko asked, beating the
others to the punch.

     "E-heh," Kyusaku laughed, putting his hand behind his head.
"Long story."  He sat down on the floor, struck a match on his
thumbnail, and relit his cigarette while the others sat down.
"I've been getting info from the MSML about ET activities for a
while now.  They've been active in Tomobiki for years, of course.
They're mostly harmless.  This Nigetanji bunch, though, seem to
be serious about the invade-and-conquer bit.  Best guess is
they've lost their homeworld, so they have to take someone
else's."

     "'MSML'?" Kyoko inquired; her brain seemed unwilling to face
the implications of Kyusaku's other statements.

     Kyusaku looked embarrassed.  "Er... 'Mad Scientist Mailing
List'.  It's just a joke name, really," he said over an
assortment of snickers.  "Anyway, the Nigetanji appear to be
beings without bodies; they take over human hosts.  It looks like
this has happened to Akiko."

     "Mom's been possessed by an alien?" Ryu said slowly.

     "Poor Mama-san," Nuku-Nuku whispered.

     "Dad, we have to do something!" Ryu burst out.  Arisa and
Kyoko nodded in agreement.

     Kyusaku scratched his cheek.  "Well, I'm still gathering
information...."

     "Maybe this will help," Kyoko said suddenly, reaching into a
pocket of her raincoat.  Nuku-Nuku tensed, then relaxed when
Kyoko pulled out a standard optical disk.  "I put everything
relevant I was able to get out of the MHI net on this.  There are
some new servers, and they're really weird," she added.  "That
would fit, though, wouldn't it?"

     Kyusaku took the disk reverently.  "Excellent!" he said.
"I'll get to work on this right away!"  He turned to crawl back
into his cave, but was stopped by Arisa.

     "There's one other thing," Arisa said.  "Kyoko pulled
something odd out of the motor-pool assignment lists.  It looks
like three MHI special-tasks vans are going to be used tonight.
I think they're coming here."

     "'Special-tasks'?  Hmm.  I don't like the sound of that,"
Kyusaku mused.  "When?"

     "Departing MHI at 0100."

     "Oh, we'll be gone by then," Kyusaku said confidently.
"I've already assembled all the gadgets we'll need."

     "To do what, Dad?" Kyu asked tensely.

     Kyusaku shrugged.  "To counterattack.  We'll massacre these
space invaders!  Hahaha!"

     "Dad!  This isn't a video game!"

     Kyusaku sobered.  "No, of course it isn't, Ryu-san," he
said, reaching out to rumple Ryu's hair.  "We're fighting for
Akiko, and for our homeworld; it's deadly serious."

     Ryu stayed his father's hand.  "That's not what I meant,
Dad.  They're people too, aren't they?  We can't just wipe them
out.  That's just wrong."

     Kyusaku drew back, startled.  "Huh?"

     "Can't we let them live here?  It's a big planet...."

     "But they're invading aliens!" Arisa burst out.

     "So were we, once," Kyusaku observed, stubbing out his
cigarette.  "So were the Americans, and the aborigines they
invaded... hell, just about everyone in the world is descended
from invaders of one kind or another.  Ryu-san's got a point.
Japan's been invaded a few times before this, too, and we always
managed to cope.  Sorry, Ryu-san.  I shouldn't have needed you to
remind me."  He rubbed his chin.  "Hmm... I think I have an idea.
Nuku-Nuku!"

     "Yes, Papa-san!"  Nuku-Nuku straightened proudly.

     "I need to modify your systems a little."

     "Um... will it tickle, Papa-san?" Nuku-Nuku asked guardedly.

     "No, I can switch you off while I do it."

     There was a brief silence.

     "Nuku-Nuku would rather it tickled, Papa-san."

     ~~~~~

     Kyoko stuck her head out the passenger-side window of the
MHI van as it braked to a stop at the outer security checkpoint.
"Hi, Jiro-kun," she said to the clipboard-toting guard who
emerged, yawning, from the gatehouse.

     "Oh, Kyoko-san," Jiro replied.  "Working late again?"  He
peered across the inside of the van.  "Arisa-san too?  I swear,
your hours are as bad as mine."

     "Well, you know how it is," Kyoko said.

     "Yup.  Er, I need to see your IDs.  Security's in a flurry
after the incident this afternoon, and we're on Candid Camera."
He nodded at the video camera mounted inside the gatehouse.

     "Sure, no problem."  Kyoko held up her MHI ID, then Arisa's.
Jiro scrutinized them, then looked at his watch and wrote on his
clipboard.

     "OK.  Have a nice night... what's left of it."  Jiro waved
to the guard still in the gatehouse, and the massive barrier
folded down into the road.  The van drove in, turned down the
VTOL flightline and rolled past the massive hangars, then parked
by the MHI tower.

     Kyoko and Arisa got out.  Kyoko slid the van's side door
open to allow Nuku-Nuku, Kyusaku, and Ryunosuke to debark.  "So
far, so good," Kyusaku observed.  He produced a cigarette, looked
at it, then put it away.

     "The next part's the tricky part," Arisa told him.

     Kyoko nodded.  "We're going in a side door, because building
security won't be happy to see her again."  She indicated Nuku-
Nuku, who looked up at the wan stars for a moment.  "Just hope
they haven't changed the codes in the last few hours."  She led
the motley band across the parking lot.

     The keypad on the side door yielded to Kyoko's deft touch.
They went in, trying to appear nonchalant.  The guards around the
corner didn't care.  "Hey!  Hold it right there!"

     "Out of the way," Kyusaku called.  Arisa and Kyoko flattened
themselves against the wall, clearing the space between Kyusaku
and the guards.  The guards looked down at the device in
Kyusaku's hands, then up at his face.  It didn't look anything
like a gun, but he was holding it like a weapon.  They went for
their batons.  Kyusaku pushed the button.  Flash!

     "Ouch!" Nuku-Nuku protested, rubbing her ears.

     "What the hell was that?!" one of the guards demanded,
leveling his baton at Kyusaku.

     Kyusaku put his free hand behind his head and laughed
nervously.  "Oh, nothing," he said.  "It doesn't affect free
humans.  Nuku-Nuku!"

     The guards looked at each other.  "Huh?"

     Whap!  Pow!  Nuku-Nuku put the second guard down carefully
next to the first.  "Like that, Papa-san?"

     "Perfect," Kyusaku said cheerfully.  He put his device away
and gestured to Arisa and Kyoko.  "After you, ladies."  They
walked off down the hallway, not noticing the inconspicuous
camera.

     Arisa and Kyoko led them to an elevator and inside.
"Sublevel 3, right?" Arisa asked Kyusaku.

     Kyusaku nodded.  "That's where they probably put their
spaceship."  Kyoko stuck her card in the slot, and Arisa pushed
the button.  The elevator started moving-- up.  Nuku-Nuku's
sensor arrays deployed.

     "What the-- Arisa!"

     "I pushed the right button!" Arisa snapped.  "Help me get
the panel off--"

     Kyusaku reached out and stopped her.  "Never mind," he said.
"I don't think it would do any good."  He sighed.  "Should have
taken the ramps."

     They watched the display change, finally stopping on 30.
"Akiko," Kyusaku said, nodding.  "Or whoever she is now."  The
doors slid open.  A pair of husky men wearing dark camouflage and
carrying odd-looking weapons waved them off the elevator.
Kyusaku's device was ready.  Flash!

     The two guards dropped like puppets with their strings cut.
Kyusaku bent over them and peeled small widgets off their heads
behind their ears.

     "What's that?" Arisa whispered from the elevator.

     "I think it's an alien brain interface," Kyusaku whispered
back.  He suddenly triggered his device again, and several thumps
resulted.  Arisa stuck her head out around the frame of the
elevator door and saw that Kyusaku had bagged a few more
camouflaged guards and was collecting more of the alien widgets.

     "Papa-san, stop that!" Nuku-Nuku complained.

     "Sorry, Nuku-Nuku," Kyusaku apologized.

     "Come on, let's get out of here!" Kyoko called quietly.

     Kyusaku straightened and looked down the hallway.  "No, I
think here is where we want to be.  Come on, Ryu-san, Nuku-Nuku."
Ryunosuke hurried after Kyusaku.  Nuku-Nuku, looking grim,
followed.  After exchanging exasperated glances, Kyoko and Arisa
did too.

     Kyusaku led them to the door to Akiko's office, then
stopped.  "Akiko-san!" he called.  The door slid aside.  Kyusaku
nodded in satisfaction and stepped through.  "Don't you ever
sleep?" he asked the figure in the room beyond.

     "On a night as exciting as this?  I think not.  You have no
shortage of courage or ingenuity, I'll grant you that," Darshian
said in Akiko's voice.  She stood up from her console as Ryu and
Nuku-Nuku came in.

     Kyusaku held up his device, carefully not pointing it at
Darshian.  "I could use this, and have my wife back," he pointed
out.  "We came to talk."

     "Then talk we shall, Dr. Natsume," Darshian said, moving
gracefully to the angled couch in one corner.  "Have a seat and
I'll send my, er, flunkies--" she gestured at Arisa and Kyoko in
the doorway-- "for refreshments."

     "What have you done with Mom?!" Ryunosuke burst out, unable
to contain himself any longer.

     Darshian tapped the side of her head with one manicured
finger.  "Oh, she's here, child," she said smoothly.  "She has
come to no harm.  I haven't stolen her body, merely borrowed it."

     "But it's HERS!  You have no right!"

     Darshian's face hardened.  "I have the right of need, and
the right of power.  It is a matter of survival, not just for
myself, but for all my people."

     "You didn't even TRY another way!  If you'd ASKED us, maybe
we could have helped you!"

     "Child, I will not bandy words with you."

     "I want my Mom back!"

     "I want my WORLD back!"  Ryunosuke's plea seemed finally to
have elicited emotion from the cool, controlled Technocrat.  "I
want my PEOPLE back!  It is our ill fortune that we have to start
over, on this backward planet, in these ill-fitting bodies!  We
do what we must!"  Darshian collected herself.  Her eyes flicked
aside, to where Kyusaku had seated himself on the couch.

     To Nuku-Nuku, the energy buildup around Kyusaku was as
obvious as a bonfire, and just as alarming.  Top-priority items
flooded into her action queues, streamed into her biovolition
interfaces, and were accorded the bionic equivalent of a small
gray cat waving cheering fans.  "PAPA-SAN!" she screamed, and
leapt.

     Nuku-Nuku's outstretched hands knocked Kyusaku sideways onto
his device, which crunched.  Where Kyusaku had been, a pillar of
light formed and surrounded Nuku-Nuku.  The catgirl froze, eyes
wide, then shrieked like a mortally wounded bagpipe and curled
into a fetal position.  The pillar of light faded with the
shrieking.

     "Oh... dear," Darshian remarked.

     Kyusaku ignored her, dropping his mangled Nigetanji-zapper
to crouch over the stricken android.  "Nuku-Nuku?  Are you all
right?

     "Damn my eyes, but it's TIGHT in here," she gasped in
Fellani.  "Darshian?"

     "I'm here, dear," Darshian said comfortingly in the same
language.

     "What is this confounded contraption you've stuffed me into?
Aha.  Hmm.  Intriguing."  Nuku-Nuku uncurled, got up on all
fours, then rose shakily to her feet.  She held up a hand in
front of her face, opened and closed its fingers, turned it over,
then acquired a vacant look.

     "What's wrong?" Ryunosuke demanded.  "What happened to Nuku-
Nuku?"

     "It is now Mareg," Darshian told him, not taking her eyes
off the android.  Her expression appeared to be at once fond,
curious, and disappointed.

     "First Mom, now Nuku-Nuku... What IS it with you people?!"
Ryunosuke was an even-tempered boy, but he looked like he was
considering throwing a tantrum.

     Darshian glanced at him and her lip quirked.  "Well,
actually, I was planning for my mate to take over your father."

     Ryu folded his arms.  "Like that's supposed to make me feel
better?  Jeez!"

     Darshian shrugged.  "Dr. Natsume is one of your world's
finest technologists, as Mareg is one of ours.  Had Mareg been
able to use your father's considerable talents for the Fellani
cause... well.  What a pity."

     Mareg walked over to a wall, made a fist, and punched.
Crash!  "Hey, that paneling's expensive!" Kyoko protested from
the doorway.

     Mareg pulled Nuku-Nuku's fist out of the wall and inspected
it.  "'Pon my soul, this is first-rate workmanship.  Darshian,
this body has its advantages."

     "It has its disadvantages, too," Darshian pointed out with
restraint.  "I was actually hoping to have you hosted by a young,
healthy, MALE body.  I've been alone for quite a while."

     Mareg walked over to her and patted her on the shoulder.
"There, there, dear."

     Darshian managed not to recoil from the catgirl android's
touch, but it obviously cost her.  "Mareg, please don't do that."

     "I think that's enough," Kyusaku broke in.  He pulled
something out of his pocket.

     "What's that?  A remote?" Darshian said sharply, turning.
Mareg crouched for a leap.

     "Sort of," Kyusaku said casually.  He squeezed it.  Squeek!
Squeek!

     Mareg was feeling a little like a basketball player who
found himself trying to fly a jet fighter: there was plenty of
power, but the cockpit was terribly cramped.  Suddenly he felt
the psychic equivalent of a small gray cat that had been riding
behind the headrest leaping out joyfully to pursue a rubber
mouse.  Simultaneously, something inconvenient happened to the
controls, and the seat opened up and swallowed him--

     "Whee!" Nuku-Nuku squealed.  "Mousie!"  She straightened,
looked around, and frowned.  "Papa-san, what happened?"

     "You have a guest," Kyusaku informed her.  "A Nigetanji.
Say 'hello' to him."

     Nuku-Nuku looked vacant for a moment, and then blushed.  "I
can't say what he said back," she said.  "You'd wash my mouth out
with soap."  She looked like she was finding the vocabulary
lesson quite interesting, though.

     "Fellani," Darshian said faintly.

     Kyusaku cupped his hand behind his ear.  "Say again?"

     "Fellani," Darshian repeated.  "Not 'Nigetanji'.  We call
ourselves Fellani."

     Kyusaku nodded.  "Fellani, then."  He wandered over to the
couch, picked up the remains of his device, and inspected it
sadly.

     "But how?" Darshian croaked.

     Kyusaku smiled mysteriously and held up a forefinger.  "Ah.
That... is a secret."  He grinned.  "I've always wanted to say
that."

     Darshian collected herself again, slinked over to the couch,
sat down on it, and crossed one elegant leg over the other.
"Kyusaku," she crooned.  "Dear, dear Kyusaku.  I'm sure we can
come to some accommodation...."

     Kyusaku cleared his throat.  "Well, maybe," he said
uncomfortably, "but not while my son, my wife's employees, and
your husband are watching."  He indicated Nuku-Nuku, who was
regarding them with a cheerful smile.  "I'm afraid it'd feel like
cheating on Akiko even if it is her body, though."

     Darshian sat up and smoothed her skirt down.  "Ah.  Yes, of
course.  Well, what do you propose, then?"  She eyed Kyusaku
carefully.

     "I'm so glad you asked that.  We're going to work on a
little project.  You've been using MHI for the production of
Fellani-technology devices to aid the Fellani conquest, yes?
Well, we're going to see if we can't come up with some way to let
the Fellani use that technology to buy themselves a place on
Earth, and devise android bodies-- not as strong as Nuku-Nuku, of
course-- that suit them better than human hosts."

     "But... but why?"

     Kyusaku shrugged.  "Lots of people get hurt on both sides in
an invasion, no matter who wins.  Now, if you were to immigrate,
on the other hand... well, I'm sure you can see the advantages."

     "I am not empowered to speak for my people," Darshian said
slowly.  "And I'm certain you do not speak for yours."

     "That's true.  If we find an answer, it won't matter.  In
the meantime, we're all wearing little jammers that will prevent
us from being forced to host Fellani.  You've got my wife, and
I've got your husband, so neither one of us is going to do
anything to mess the other up, right?"

     Darshian sighed.  "Right."  She gestured to the camouflage-
clad, Fellani-inhabited guards who had seized Arisa and Kyoko
while their attention was on events in the office; they released
the two women and stepped back.

     "There we go," Kyusaku said, beaming.  "My old lab's still
available, isn't it?  See that I get added to the security
systems, Akiko, that's a good girl.  And I'll need a comfortable
budget, too.  'Night!  Come on, Ryu-san, it's way past your
bedtime."  He jammed his hands into the pockets of his scruffy
lab coat and strode off.

     Ryunosuke gave Darshian an unreadable look and followed his
father.  Nuku-Nuku waved.  "Bye-bye, Mama-san," she said.  "Um,
Mareg says, um, 'this Kyusaku chap sounds like my kind of
screwball.' You can talk to him any time you like," she added
generously.  She skipped off after Kyusaku and Ryunosuke.  Arisa
and Kyoko slunk out, looking like they'd collapse on the first
bed they happened across.

     Darshian was left standing alone in the huge office of
Natsume Akiko.  From deep within her, she felt a sudden, alien
urge to chew on a handkerchief and cry.

     ~~~~~ end ~~~~~