EDITING GROUP SAMPLE PAPER 4 

 

PARAGRAPH 1 

1. Recently Walt Disney, a leader in family entertainment, announced the remake of a well-loved child's classic "Cinderella" 

2. The Walt Disney company, already renown for their animated version of the same tale, expressed a desire for this new version to relate to the young people of today. 

3. According to Disney producers and directors, this remake was to be an attempt "to create a multiethnic, completely colorblind fairytale.... that had some relevance to a '9Os audience." 

4. Whether or not this is what Disney accomplished is the topic of an article written by Rick Kushman, t.v. Columnist for the Sacramento Bee. 

5. After reading Kushman's article I have concluded that Kushman felt that Walt Disney did not succeed in their attempt to "reconcile western culture's with 1990s sensibilities", to a certain point I agree with Kushman's conclusion of the movie. 

6. I agree with Kushman in that even though this new version is full of a multiracial cast the story still has some of the old waits for prince charming to rescue you story. 

7. I do feel that the attempt at the multiracial cast was a success, because it does open the vision of this story being met for anyone. 

8. In his article Kushman comments on the difference in the ethnic background of the king, queen, and prince. 

9. I feel that we should not look at it as the impossibility of someone from an African American background and a Caucasian background as having a filipino son. 

10. The purpose is to look beyond these difference, and if you can't than just remember that this is all make-believe. 

 

 

PARAGRAPH 2
 

11. In his article Kushman points out a few places in the movie where the contradictions appear, yet he also reminds us that it is a fairytale so not all should seem real. 

12. One of these points is where the "prince insists that he wants to marry someone who he can talk to and share his life with", and then Kushman comments on the ballroom full of beautiful women that are willing to marry just because he is the prince. 

13. Before the prince knows about the ball he is seen outside in the town where he first runs into Cinderella. 

14. You see them meeting and he is drawn to her even though he does not know who she is. 

15. The prince is angry with his parents when he discovers that they are going ahead with the ball even though he said he did not want one. 

16. He agrees to the ball when he gets his parents to also agree that if he doesn't find the girl of his dreams at the ball that they would let him have the time he needs to find her on his own. 

11. The prince has the desire to marry for love and he is shown at the ball as barely tolerating the cooing ladies whom he finds as boring. 

18. He requests from his valet Lionel to speed the introductions up in order for this to get finished as soon as possible. 

19. It is then that everyone in the ballroom is drawn to the top of the stairs where a late arriving guest stands. 

20. I feel that it is her late arrival that gives Cinderella the advantage of catching the prince's eye because it puts her at the center of attention. 

21. Once she does catch his eye and they are dancing the prince has a sense of meeting her before. 

22. He does not recognize her as the girl he met earlier in the town because the difference in the clothes makes her seem different.

 

PARAGRAPH 3
 

25. Which brings up another Kushman point, that is Cinderella does not seem able to attend the ball without the help of "some outside force." 

26. Here I see Kushman's point yet I don't see any way in changing the aspect of magic getting her to the ball. 

27. In every version of the Cinderella story I have ever seen there is some other force or aid that allows her to attend the ball. 

28. These outside forces and aids vary from magical fairy godmothers, to prominent friends, and magical acorns. 

29. I see this as the point that you will always need help and guidance in doing things in life. 

30. There will always be something or someone directing you along the road of life. 

31. Who is to say that we don't have something special within us that allows magical things to happen around us. 

32. Are there not things happening every day that are found to be unexplainable. 

33. It is everything coming to an end at midnight that is hard to explain. 

34. As Kushman states it is as if that when the magic expires at midnight it seems as if she has lost the power within her. 

35. This is where the relevance to the '9Os way of thinking was not met. 

36. I'm not even sure how it could be changed to adapt it to the actual script. 

 

PARAGRAPH 4
 

 

37. This brings me to another point that I would like to make about this Disney version of Cinderella. 

38. I think that the main mistake that Disney made in this version is that it was actually a remake. 

39. I'm not sure if Kushman even considered this point but I would like to make it. 

40. This version of Cinderella was a remake of the Rogers and Hammerstein musical. 

41. With this being already written and copyrighted I don't think that there was really too much that could be changed with out Disney infringing on the copyright laws. 

42. That is why I see the failure of the up to date version of this movie. 

43. If Disney had started with a whole new script than I think it would have been easier for them to change the contradictions that Kushman comments on in his article. 

44. The one thing that we have to remember when we are telling these stories to our children is that it is how we answer the questions that they ask that gives them their understanding of what they were told. 

45. So all in all I think that this was a good remake of an old tale. 

46. Though the next time Disney wants to bring an old tale into the '9Os I hope they really look at what they are starting with and what they can actually change in it.