It clings to her, like web to fly; it picked her, like Word wants preacher. The ritual of use, to dip into zipper and pull out a shot, like a psalm sought, the fingers fidget, then calm. Comfort connects her senses with a scorched joy: spike's tiny-flirting and tempting-fleeting feel. This junk-life drags, like seven straight Sundays spent surly-same: smacks of saccharined coffeeÕs tang. "Life is pain," her connect waxes dreamily, between small moves from pocket to product, like crossing himself. Up--down--across--the process, slight shift and stir, wastes no energy from his end. Best behavior, careful, do not complain, 'cuz stocks of white wane and black tar's a tougher master. Purity cycles monthly: money- like. Whisper of paper check stub, a quick-torn eulogy, then gone: glad--rage unremembered. To prick the skin, cold-sweated and taboo-hot, like lustful old Testament tale's sacrament, the push-pull--junk's what you see going in--and then, blessed red hurries back, push again for pressurized rush. Air's bad so is blue, she learns one flush-but-cold Tuesday; the short-timer slumps over wooden plum crate, one knee resting on rot-strewn floor in unrelenting posture of prayer. All fly from rooms of hoary house fast abandoned. Lips bluing, cheap works still stick from her lithe arm: the blend in tube--concord grape blue. Mouth agape, last sound question coughed: "Am I gone?"
Copyright © 2005 by Calaveras Station and the CSUS English Department.