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David Johnson has a theory that says within any conflict, achieving our personal goals and keeping good working relationships are important. He says there are five styles of managing conflict, and has matched them with animals. Which are you?

The Turtle: Hides from conflict by withdrawing. They tend to give up both sides of the goal, both achieving goals and keeping a good working relationship. They feel resolving conflict is hopeless, so they don’t face it.

The Shark: This person attempts to overpower the opponent and force them to accept their way. Sharks place much more emphasis on their goals than on the relationship. They assume there must be a winner and a loser in each situation.

The Teddy Bear: These folks place much more importance on relationships than on goals. They want to be liked, and believe conflict should be avoided.

The Fox: These people seek compromise, giving up part of their goal in return for the same from their opponent. They want a middle ground in which everyone has given up something and received something else.

The Owl: Owls value both goals and relationships and see conflicts as things to be solved. Conflicts are believed to improve relationships once they are resolved.

Suggestion: When you are faced with a conflict, BE AN OWL. Peer at the problem until you can find a solution that benefits everyone involved.

CONFLICT RESOLUTION METHODS

1. Address the substance of the conflict.
2. Address the ways you could deal with it.
3. Separate relationships from the conflict.
4. Discuss everyone’s perceptions.
5. Be sensitive to emotions that may occur.
6. Address the emotions and acknowledge them as legitimate.
7. Listen.
8. Focus on interests not positions.
9. Be hard on the conflict, not the people.
10. Brainstorm for solutions.
11. Look for mutual gain.
12. Reason and be open to others’ thoughts.
13. Use equity and fairness.
14. Make sure everyone is comfortable with the outcomes.

Two problem areas when dealing with conflict:

People who WON’T negotiate. Some people will refuse to compromise because they want to protect their interests only. How can you best work with them?

1. Start to negotiate anyway.
2. Explain your position and why you believe it is best for them to negotiate.
3. Talk about how you believe the collaboration will help them.
4. Share the problem. Make it belong to both of you.

When TRUST is an issue. Here are some suggestions when members aren’t trusting one another.

1. You be trustworthy. Do what you said you would do.
2. Find a higher value that you both agree on.
3. Listen.
4. Make an agreement that will be carried out.
5. Start small.
6. Do your best. You can’t force people to trust you.

Information adapted from Occidental College-Office of Student Life

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