Module 1:Sample Paper #2

Module : Papers and Presentations

Sample Paper #2
Refer to the course syllabus for the overall picture.

Overview

I have two sample papers from former students that have given me permission to use their work in this manner. Each of these papers have at least received an
"A-". Notice how the two papers are based on the same novel, yet about very different topics. My comments are bolded after different interesting passages.

Cover Page/ Introduction:
Coping With the Suicide of a Loved One:
Feelings of Guilt

Research Paper on Bone

FACS 150

November 29, 1998

Good cover page. Just don't forget to put your name. Also, the section# is usful.

The novel Bone by Fae Myenne Ng is about a Chinese American family, two immigrant parents and three American-born adult daughters, living in San Francisco's Chinatown (Ng, 1993). The novel tells of the efforts of this family to come to grips with the suicide of its middle daughter, twenty-year old Ona. The eldest daughter Leila, as narrator, tells us that Ona jumped from the thirteenth floor of a nearby housing project (Ng, 1993). The reason Ona jumped was never revealed. The shock of an inexplicable suicide temporarily scatters the members of the family, as each retreats into anguished questioning and selfreproach (Ng, 1993). Each family member seeks an explanation as to why Ona jumped, often blaming one's self or each other (Ng, 1993). Shame, guilt, self-blame, and confusion are common reactions for people bereaved by suicide (Pfeffer, 1996). This paper examines these feelings of guilt and self-blame that members of the Leong family exhibit and explores suicide(briefly) among young women in America.

Good summary of the story and introduction of the paper topic. Notice that this one is much more generic family issue oriented and less based in cultural distinctions.

A woman commits suicide every 90 minutes in the United States (AFSP, 1997). Suicide is the third leading cause of death among persons 15-24 years of age (Corr, Nabe, & Corr, 1994). Among Asian Americans, female Chinese Americans have a relatively higher suicide rate as compared to males than Japanese American and Filipino American females (Lester, 1994).

Interesting bit of information to get the topic grounded. Notice how the author found information about all suicides and then was able to get specific information about various Asian American groups.

The Body

In the book, Ona was on downers when she committed suicide (Ng, 1993). Substance abuse is one of the risk factors associated with suicide (Peck, Farberow, & Litman, 1985). There is an increased risk for suicide because alcohol and/or drugs decrease judgment and increase impulsivity (SA/V, 1998).

A good sequence can refer to the novel being discussed first and then follow up with information from the library (as above).

The precipitating life events for women who attempt suicide tend to be interpersonal losses or crises in significant social or family relationships (AFSP, 1997). Although the reason Ona committed suicide was never revealed in the book, one may speculate that it could have been because Ona was experiencing conflict in family relationships because her parents, Leon and Mah, did not approve of her boyfriend, Osvaldo, and/or because Ona was upset because Osvaldo eventually left her (Ng, 1993).

Or the sequence can be in the opposite direction (above).

Although feelings of guilt and self-blame are common among most suicide survivors, recent research suggests that differences have been found in beliefs concerning death among Asian and Western cultures (i.e. the feelings of guilt may be more pronounced in Asian cultures) (Shiang, Blinn, Bongar, Stephens, Allison, & Schatzberg, 1997). Research findings indicate that Western cultures are largely based on belief systems that foster independence; the enhancement of the self is of primary importance (Shiang et al., 1997). In contrast, Asian cultures emphasize interdependence or interconnectedness, and the self is therefore viewed as being a part of a group (Shiang et al., 1997). Therefore, death in Western cultures would be largely thought of as an independent act whereas suicide in Asian culi tures would be an act thought of in the context of relationships (Shiang et al., 1997). Support for this view comes from the differences in the typical response to a suicide in these cultures. In Western cultures, the question asked is: "Why? Why did this happen?" (Shiang et al., 1997, p. 82). The perspective is that the individual has made a choice to commit suicide. In Asian culture the question often asked after a suicide is: "Who caused this death? Who drove this person to suicide?" (Shiang et al., 1997, p. 82). This reaction is evident among the Leong family. The rest of this paper examines this.

Very good synopsis of the different perspectives.

Leila's father, who is actually her stepfather, Leon, emigrated to America at the age of fifteen (Ng, 1993). Because the Chinese Exclusion Act was still in effect, and because he had no relatives living in the U.S., he followed the common course of buying the birth certificate of a Chinese American citizen born in China, thus becoming, on paper, someone else's son. Grandpa Leong had secured from his paper father the promise that he fulfill the common request of Chinese immigrant generations that after death his bones be returned to China for burial (Ng, 1993). But Leon, plagued by the need to focus on survival by working long hours at innumerable menial jobs, neglected this task to the point that he has forgotten where the bones are buried (Ng, 1993). Part of his reaction to his daughter's death is to accuse himself of having brought a streak of bad luck on his family, a bad luck that eventually killed Ona, by neglecting the bones of the elder Leong (Ng, 1993).

Notice how the author followed a long paragraph with no mention of the novel being read with another long paragraph focussing exclussively on the novel.

Leon blamed himself for Ona's death. He felt intense guilt and regret. At first, he directed his guilt and anger outward, blaming Osvaldo (Ng, 1993). But ultimately he blamed himself. He failed to send the bones back and he failed as a parent (Ng, 1993). Almost all parents of children who have committed suicide feel that they have failed in some way, thus putting their parental competency into question (Seguin, Lesage, Kiely, 1995). Leon felt that he should have been able to prevent Ona's death.

Mah, Ona's mother, reacted to ona's death with feelings of intense sorrow, guilt, and regret (Ng, 1993). She blamed herself for Ona's death (Ng, 1993). "Mah thought that it was the bad choices she made. My father, Lyman Fu. Her affair with Tommie Hom. She thought all the bad luck started with her," stated Leila (Ng, 1993, p. 51). She, too, felt that she had failed as a parent. Mah regretted not defending Ona when Leon forbid her to see Osvaldo (Ng, 1993). Mah believed that Ona felt betrayed that no one came to her rescue about Osvaldo, that she had to suffer the blame for the failure of the company that Leon started with Osvaldo's family (Ng,1993).

Leon and Mah fought a lot after Ona died (Ng, 1993). Leon ended up moving out (Ng, 1993). Research indicates that most parents experience some marital problems after the death of a child (Reed, 1993). Leon and Mah had a hard time dealing with Ona's death and their grief put a strain on their relationship (Ng, 1993).

Good discussion of Mah and Leon dealing with the suicide. Notice how a paragraph is devoted to each, and then followed up by a very good small paragraph related to both of them.

One common outcome of bereavement is that some survivors become detached from family relationships (Reed, 1993). This was the case with Nina, the youngest Leong daughter. She lived in New York. She did not have to deal with Ona's death as much because she had an escape. She rarely discussed it with her parents (Ng, 1993). When Nina talked about Ona's death with Leila, she blamed it on the family (Ng, 1993). She felt that Ona's need for her parents destroyed her (Ng, 1993). Nina did not seem to feel guilty like the other family members did. She believed that it was Ona's choice (Ng, 1993).

Leila experienced feelings of guilt after Ona's death. She kept wondering if there was something she could have done to stop it (Ng, 1993). She had been living with her boyfriend during the time Ona committed suicide (Ng, 1993). Leila kept asking herself: "If I'd been living on the Alley, could I have had that talk with Ona?...would I have said the right word?" (Ng, 1993, p. 46). She felt as if she failed in her role as big sister. Leila wanted to save her sister and agonized over how she may have failed. "I went over every moment I had with Ona and tried to find my own moment of failure," declared Leila (Ng, 1993, p. 106).

The author looked at each character and discussed how each dealt with the suicide in ways that relate to different pieces of research literature out there. Nice, but almost too much. This paper was written back when the papers were supposed to be up to six pages long. It might have been better to have just focussed on how the parents OR the siblings dealt with the suicide.

Conclusion/ References

In conclusion, each member of the Leong family dealt with Ona's suicide in a unique way. Each had their own idea as to why Ona jumped (Ng, 1993). Leon blamed it on himself and his failure to return Grandpa Leong's bones to China, Mah blamed it on herself and her affair with Tommie Hom, Nina blamed it on the family, and Leila blamed herself and the fact that Ona felt "stuck in the middle of all the trouble," (Ng, 1993, p.139). These Feelings of guilt and self-blame over Ona's death ; plagued members of the family (Ng, 1993). Feelings of guilt are a normal part of the grieving process but one must not let these feelings destroy one's life. One must accept the fact that they are not responsible for it having happened. A major part of healing from the trauma of a suicide is self-forgiveness (Smolin & Guinan, 1993 ).

Other than the fact that the author used the word "one" too many times in the last couples sentences, this was a very good conluding paragraph. The last paragraph summarized the key points of the paper and discussed the significance of what was learned.

References

AFSP (1997). Suicide facts: Suicide in women. American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) [Online], 1 page. Available: http://www.afsp.org/suicide/women.htm [11/27/98] .

Corr, C.A., Nabe, C.M., & Corr, D.M.,(1994). Death and dying, life and living. Pacific Grove, CA: Brooks/Cole Publishing Co.

Lester, D. (1994). Differences in the epidemiology of suicide in Asian Americans by nation of origin. Omega, 29, 89-93.

Ng, F.M. (1993). Bone. New York: Hyperion.

Peck, M.L., Farberow, N.L., & Litman, R.E. (1985). Youth suicide. New York: Springer Publishing Co.

Pfaffer, C. (1996). Suicide survivors. American Foundation for Suicide Prevention [Online], 2 pages. Available: file://C:/ America Online4.0/download/pfeffer2.htm [11/27/98].

Reed, M.D. (1993). Sudden death and bereavement outcomes: The impact of resources on grief symptomatology and detachment. Suicide and Life-Threatening Behavior, 23, 204-220.

SA/VE Speakers Bureau (1998). Questions most frequently asked on suicide. Suicide Awareness/Voices of Education (SA/VE) [Online], 3 pages. Available: http://www.save.org/question.html [11/27/98] .

Seguin, M., Lesage, A., & Kiely, M.C. (1995). Parental bereavement after suicide and accident: A comparative study. Suicide and Life-Threatenina Behavior, 25, 489-498.

Shiang, J., Blinn, R.; Bongar, B., Stephens, B., Allison, D., & Schatzberg, A. (1997). Suicide in San Francisco, CA: A comparison of Caucasian and Asian groups. Suicide and LifeThreatening Behavior, 27, 80-91.

Smolin, A., & Guinan, J. (1993). Healing after the suicide of a loved one. New York: Fireside.

A phenomenal set of references. Frankly this was too much, especially now that the paper requirement is one less. I would say that this person went one or two references too far, at least. But you can refer to this set as a good set of examples for APA style. Everything looks right.

Questions and Comments

Submit questions or comments to the Bulletin "Questions" Forum or send private e-mail to me.

FACS150
February 8, 1999
California State University, Sacramento

Module : Papers and Presentations
Sample Paper #2 Refer to the course syllabus for the overall picture.
Overview	I have two sample papers from former students that have given me permission to use their work in this manner. Each of these papers have at least received an "A-". Notice how the two papers are based on the same novel, yet about very different topics. My comments are bolded after different interesting passages.
Cover Page/ Introduction:	Coping With the Suicide of a Loved One: Feelings of Guilt Research Paper on Bone FACS 150 November 29, 1998 Good cover page. Just don't forget to put your name. Also, the section# is usful. The novel Bone by Fae Myenne Ng is about a Chinese American family, two immigrant parents and three American-born adult daughters, living in San Francisco's Chinatown (Ng, 1993). The novel tells of the efforts of this family to come to grips with the suicide of its middle daughter, twenty-year old Ona. The eldest daughter Leila, as narrator, tells us that Ona jumped from the thirteenth floor of a nearby housing project (Ng, 1993). The reason Ona jumped was never revealed. The shock of an inexplicable suicide temporarily scatters the members of the family, as each retreats into anguished questioning and selfreproach (Ng, 1993). Each family member seeks an explanation as to why Ona jumped, often blaming one's self or each other (Ng, 1993). Shame, guilt, self-blame, and confusion are common reactions for people bereaved by suicide (Pfeffer, 1996). This paper examines these feelings of guilt and self-blame that members of the Leong family exhibit and explores suicide(briefly) among young women in America. Good summary of the story and introduction of the paper topic. Notice that this one is much more generic family issue oriented and less based in cultural distinctions. A woman commits suicide every 90 minutes in the United States (AFSP, 1997). Suicide is the third leading cause of death among persons 15-24 years of age (Corr, Nabe, & Corr, 1994). Among Asian Americans, female Chinese Americans have a relatively higher suicide rate as compared to males than Japanese American and Filipino American females (Lester, 1994). Interesting bit of information to get the topic grounded. Notice how the author found information about all suicides and then was able to get specific information about various Asian American groups.
The Body	In the book, Ona was on downers when she committed suicide (Ng, 1993). Substance abuse is one of the risk factors associated with suicide (Peck, Farberow, & Litman, 1985). There is an increased risk for suicide because alcohol and/or drugs decrease judgment and increase impulsivity (SA/V, 1998). A good sequence can refer to the novel being discussed first and then follow up with information from the library (as above). The precipitating life events for women who attempt suicide tend to be interpersonal losses or crises in significant social or family relationships (AFSP, 1997). Although the reason Ona committed suicide was never revealed in the book, one may speculate that it could have been because Ona was experiencing conflict in family relationships because her parents, Leon and Mah, did not approve of her boyfriend, Osvaldo, and/or because Ona was upset because Osvaldo eventually left her (Ng, 1993). Or the sequence can be in the opposite direction (above). Although feelings of guilt and self-blame are common among most suicide survivors, recent research suggests that differences have been found in beliefs concerning death among Asian and Western cultures (i.e. the feelings of guilt may be more pronounced in Asian cultures) (Shiang, Blinn, Bongar, Stephens, Allison, & Schatzberg, 1997). Research findings indicate that Western cultures are largely based on belief systems that foster independence; the enhancement of the self is of primary importance (Shiang et al., 1997). In contrast, Asian cultures emphasize interdependence or interconnectedness, and the self is therefore viewed as being a part of a group (Shiang et al., 1997). Therefore, death in Western cultures would be largely thought of as an independent act whereas suicide in Asian culi tures would be an act thought of in the context of relationships (Shiang et al., 1997). Support for this view comes from the differences in the typical response to a suicide in these cultures. In Western cultures, the question asked is: "Why? Why did this happen?" (Shiang et al., 1997, p. 82). The perspective is that the individual has made a choice to commit suicide. In Asian culture the question often asked after a suicide is: "Who caused this death? Who drove this person to suicide?" (Shiang et al., 1997, p. 82). This reaction is evident among the Leong family. The rest of this paper examines this. Very good synopsis of the different perspectives. Leila's father, who is actually her stepfather, Leon, emigrated to America at the age of fifteen (Ng, 1993). Because the Chinese Exclusion Act was still in effect, and because he had no relatives living in the U.S., he followed the common course of buying the birth certificate of a Chinese American citizen born in China, thus becoming, on paper, someone else's son. Grandpa Leong had secured from his paper father the promise that he fulfill the common request of Chinese immigrant generations that after death his bones be returned to China for burial (Ng, 1993). But Leon, plagued by the need to focus on survival by working long hours at innumerable menial jobs, neglected this task to the point that he has forgotten where the bones are buried (Ng, 1993). Part of his reaction to his daughter's death is to accuse himself of having brought a streak of bad luck on his family, a bad luck that eventually killed Ona, by neglecting the bones of the elder Leong (Ng, 1993). Notice how the author followed a long paragraph with no mention of the novel being read with another long paragraph focussing exclussively on the novel. Leon blamed himself for Ona's death. He felt intense guilt and regret. At first, he directed his guilt and anger outward, blaming Osvaldo (Ng, 1993). But ultimately he blamed himself. He failed to send the bones back and he failed as a parent (Ng, 1993). Almost all parents of children who have committed suicide feel that they have failed in some way, thus putting their parental competency into question (Seguin, Lesage, Kiely, 1995). Leon felt that he should have been able to prevent Ona's death. Mah, Ona's mother, reacted to ona's death with feelings of intense sorrow, guilt, and regret (Ng, 1993). She blamed herself for Ona's death (Ng, 1993). "Mah thought that it was the bad choices she made. My father, Lyman Fu. Her affair with Tommie Hom. She thought all the bad luck started with her," stated Leila (Ng, 1993, p. 51). She, too, felt that she had failed as a parent. Mah regretted not defending Ona when Leon forbid her to see Osvaldo (Ng, 1993). Mah believed that Ona felt betrayed that no one came to her rescue about Osvaldo, that she had to suffer the blame for the failure of the company that Leon started with Osvaldo's family (Ng,1993). Leon and Mah fought a lot after Ona died (Ng, 1993). Leon ended up moving out (Ng, 1993). Research indicates that most parents experience some marital problems after the death of a child (Reed, 1993). Leon and Mah had a hard time dealing with Ona's death and their grief put a strain on their relationship (Ng, 1993). Good discussion of Mah and Leon dealing with the suicide. Notice how a paragraph is devoted to each, and then followed up by a very good small paragraph related to both of them. One common outcome of bereavement is that some survivors become detached from family relationships (Reed, 1993). This was the case with Nina, the youngest Leong daughter. She lived in New York. She did not have to deal with Ona's death as much because she had an escape. She rarely discussed it with her parents (Ng, 1993). When Nina talked about Ona's death with Leila, she blamed it on the family (Ng, 1993). She felt that Ona's need for her parents destroyed her (Ng, 1993). Nina did not seem to feel guilty like the other family members did. She believed that it was Ona's choice (Ng, 1993). Leila experienced feelings of guilt after Ona's death. She kept wondering if there was something she could have done to stop it (Ng, 1993). She had been living with her boyfriend during the time Ona committed suicide (Ng, 1993). Leila kept asking herself: "If I'd been living on the Alley, could I have had that talk with Ona?...would I have said the right word?" (Ng, 1993, p. 46). She felt as if she failed in her role as big sister. Leila wanted to save her sister and agonized over how she may have failed. "I went over every moment I had with Ona and tried to find my own moment of failure," declared Leila (Ng, 1993, p. 106). The author looked at each character and discussed how each dealt with the suicide in ways that relate to different pieces of research literature out there. Nice, but almost too much. This paper was written back when the papers were supposed to be up to six pages long. It might have been better to have just focussed on how the parents OR the siblings dealt with the suicide.
Conclusion/ References	In conclusion, each member of the Leong family dealt with Ona's suicide in a unique way. Each had their own idea as to why Ona jumped (Ng, 1993). Leon blamed it on himself and his failure to return Grandpa Leong's bones to China, Mah blamed it on herself and her affair with Tommie Hom, Nina blamed it on the family, and Leila blamed herself and the fact that Ona felt "stuck in the middle of all the trouble," (Ng, 1993, p.139). These Feelings of guilt and self-blame over Ona's death ; plagued members of the family (Ng, 1993). Feelings of guilt are a normal part of the grieving process but one must not let these feelings destroy one's life. One must accept the fact that they are not responsible for it having happened. A major part of healing from the trauma of a suicide is self-forgiveness (Smolin & Guinan, 1993 ). Other than the fact that the author used the word "one" too many times in the last couples sentences, this was a very good conluding paragraph. The last paragraph summarized the key points of the paper and discussed the significance of what was learned. References AFSP (1997). Suicide facts: Suicide in women. American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) [Online], 1 page. Available: http://www.afsp.org/suicide/women.htm [11/27/98] . Corr, C.A., Nabe, C.M., & Corr, D.M.,(1994). Death and dying, life and living. Pacific Grove, CA: Brooks/Cole Publishing Co. Lester, D. (1994). Differences in the epidemiology of suicide in Asian Americans by nation of origin. Omega, 29, 89-93. Ng, F.M. (1993). Bone. New York: Hyperion. Peck, M.L., Farberow, N.L., & Litman, R.E. (1985). Youth suicide. New York: Springer Publishing Co. Pfaffer, C. (1996). Suicide survivors. American Foundation for Suicide Prevention [Online], 2 pages. Available: file://C:/ America Online4.0/download/pfeffer2.htm [11/27/98]. Reed, M.D. (1993). Sudden death and bereavement outcomes: The impact of resources on grief symptomatology and detachment. Suicide and Life-Threatening Behavior, 23, 204-220. SA/VE Speakers Bureau (1998). Questions most frequently asked on suicide. Suicide Awareness/Voices of Education (SA/VE) [Online], 3 pages. Available: http://www.save.org/question.html [11/27/98] . Seguin, M., Lesage, A., & Kiely, M.C. (1995). Parental bereavement after suicide and accident: A comparative study. Suicide and Life-Threatenina Behavior, 25, 489-498. Shiang, J., Blinn, R.; Bongar, B., Stephens, B., Allison, D., & Schatzberg, A. (1997). Suicide in San Francisco, CA: A comparison of Caucasian and Asian groups. Suicide and LifeThreatening Behavior, 27, 80-91. Smolin, A., & Guinan, J. (1993). Healing after the suicide of a loved one. New York: Fireside. A phenomenal set of references. Frankly this was too much, especially now that the paper requirement is one less. I would say that this person went one or two references too far, at least. But you can refer to this set as a good set of examples for APA style. Everything looks right.
Questions and Comments	Submit questions or comments to the Bulletin "Questions" Forum or send private e-mail to me.
FACS150	February 8, 1999 California State University, Sacramento