Centaur a Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by Vince Seifert (seifertv@csus.edu) Ranma 1/2 characters and situations are copyright 1987, 1999 by Takahashi Rumiko. Publishing rights (Japan) by Shogakukan Inc. Publishing rights (North America) by Viz Inc. This work is not intended to infringe those rights. Chapter 1: The Lion and the Jackals ~~~~~ When Akane awoke, her first awareness was that she was on a futon rather than in her bed, and the association that triggered was quite pleasant. *Honeymoon....* Her second awareness, of a warm body sharing the futon with her, was even more pleasant. *Ranma. Mine.* Her third awareness was that she was in the Tendo house, and that meant-- *Darn. The honeymoon's over.* With that, the world came rushing in upon her, and she suddenly sat bolt upright. *I forgot to set the alarm!* "Ranma! Get up! We have to go to school!" Ranma slumbered on, oblivious, a slight smile on his face. Akane's expression softened; under the circumstances, it was not unreasonable for her to hope that he was dreaming of her. She reached over and shook him hard anyway. "Ranma!" "mmmgrblfm...." Ranma shifted a little, but showed every indication of going right on sleeping. Akane bit her lip. She didn't have a bucket of water handy, but it was beginning to look like one would be necessary. She smiled suddenly, leaned down, and planted a kiss on Ranma's lips. Ranma's eyes shot open, rolled wildly, then steadied. His arms arose from under the quilt like the tentacles of some subterranean monster bent on succulent girl-flesh for breakfast and closed around Akane. "Eeep! Let go, we have to get ready for school!" she cried, struggling. "Hey, you kissed me," Ranma said, grinning. "My turn." His arms tightened, but Akane broke free, rolled away, and scrambled to her feet. "Stop that. We don't have time," she said breathlessly. "Besides, you taste terrible." Ranma shrugged, yawned, and stretched. "So do you, but you don't hear me complaining." He ran an appreciative glance over Akane's pajama-clad form. "Bath, or you wanna work out a bit?" "Bath," Akane said firmly. "I'll go first." Ranma's eyebrows rose. "What, don't you want your back scrubbed? I'll come with you." Akane looked uncomfortable. "Ranma, it's... well... it's different here. My family... um, our family...." "Gimme a break," Ranma snorted. "You were crawlin' all over me for the last couple of days, and now you're all of a sudden shy-like?" Akane blushed. "Ranmaaaa!" she yelled to cover it. ~~~~~ "LECHER!" Wham! "Tomboy! Bii-da!" Nabiki watched Soun's mustache begin to quiver as the violent sounds echoed down from upstairs. "Oh, Nabiki," he sobbed, "they're still fighting! I'd hoped, after they were so nice to each other when we were all talking last night, that they were over this!" Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Give it a rest, Father," she said derisively. "Some things never change." She cringed as the door upstairs slammed open and Ranma came flying down the stairs wearing boxer shorts and tank-top. He skidded around the corner at the bottom and headed for the bathroom, with Akane thundering after him. "You baka! I'm going first, I said!" Akane protested as Ranma dove out of sight. "Too slow!" Ranma taunted, his voice echoing out of the tiled bathroom. Akane slammed the door behind them. "Woop!" Crash! "Nyaaah! Hey, what--!" Splash! "Hey, no fair!" Ranma's female voice yelled. "Wait! No! Get awaaay... wahaha!" Relative silence descended. Soun stared at Nabiki, tears forgotten. Nabiki stared back. "Perhaps I'd better go stop them from hurting each other," Soun began tentatively. Nabiki reached out an arm to stop him. "Don't, Father. It's too dangerous. Besides, the only one who's likely to get hurt is Ranma." "Why, Nabiki! He's your brother now! You owe him some concern!" "Yeah, right. If Ranma got hit by a truck, I'd worry about how badly the truck was damaged." Kasumi came out of the kitchen. "They're so lively, aren't they?" she said cheerfully, placing a pot of tea on the table. Soun and Nabiki waited until she'd turned away before rolling their eyes. A few minutes later, the house shook again as Ranma and Akane dashed out of the bathroom and back up to their room. Shortly thereafter, they both came into the main room wearing their St. Hebereke's uniforms and dropped to sit at the table. "Good morning!" they chorused in unison, and then noticed Soun's bulging eyes and Nabiki's slightly ruffled look. "What?" "Is it going to be like this every morning?" Nabiki sniffed. "If so, we're going to have words about it." Ranma looked at her blankly. "Like what? Oh, thanks, Kasumi," she added as the miso and rice appeared before her. "The shouting. The running. The shrill cries of pain... it was pain, wasn't it?" Akane blushed. Ranma shrugged. "Ask Akane. If she'd just scrub my back like a good wife-- oof!" Akane removed her elbow from Ranma's ribs. "Now, Akane, be nice," Soun admonished. "I was being nice!" "She was being nice!" Ranma said at the same moment. "If the human hammer here wasn't being nice," she continued, "I'd be out in the garden." She gestured with her chopsticks at the intervening shoji screen and continued eating. "And don't you forget it," Akane muttered, concealing a smile. "Kasumi, you should have woken us up," she accused her eldest sister as Kasumi joined them at the table. "I forgot to set the alarm." "Oh, I thought you could use a little more time in bed," Kasumi said. She politely overlooked Akane's fierce blush, Soun's spit-take, and Nabiki's facefault; Ranma was apparently devoting all of her attention to her breakfast. "I made your lunches," Kasumi continued, "so you won't be late to school." Akane's blush receded. "Thanks, Kasumi." "Yeah, thanks, Kasumi!" Ranma seconded enthusiastically. Akane rounded on her. "And what's wrong with the lunches I make?!" "Nothing," Ranma said equably, putting her empty bowl down as Akane relaxed. "Nothing that another few years of practice won't fix, anyway-- waha!" She dodged Akane's lunge with a handspring over the table from her seated position, flipping between Soun and Nabiki and out into the hall. "RANMA!" Akane leapt in pursuit. She was back a moment later. "Oh, Kasumi--" Kasumi had already gotten up and was coming out of the kitchen with their bento boxes in hand. Akane took them with a quick smile. "Thanks. See you later!" She left rapidly. "Have a good day!" Kasumi called after them. She favored Soun and Nabiki with a gentle smile and returned to her place at the table. Nabiki had a slightly shell-shocked look. "Yup. It's going to be like this every morning. The sooner I move out, the better." She shook her head disgustedly. "Lovebirds." Soun gaped at her. "What? But, but the insults, the hitting, the yelling...." "Oh, Father, that's just how they are," Kasumi said as though to a slightly dim child, pouring herself a cup of tea as she did so. ~~~~~ "Ranma, stop a moment," Akane called when they were almost to St. Hebereke's. "We need to talk." "You mean you wanna tell me something," Ranma grumbled, but she slowed from her run as Akane did. Akane ignored the crack; it was essentially true. "Ranma, remember we can't let them know we're married to each other. They think we're married to two guys. No PDAs, all right?" "'PDAs'?" "It figures you wouldn't know that. Public Displays of Affection. Hugging, kissing, holding hands...." Ranma sighed and looked away. "Sure. It'll be just like before." "I know it'll be hard," Akane said sympathetically. "It's easier for me when you're a girl, but I want you to know... there'll still be times when I want to hug or kiss you, but I won't. Not because I don't want to, but because we have a secret to keep." Ranma nodded, still looking away. "Best friends isn't so bad, is it?" Ranma looked back at her with that cocky glint in her eye. "Best friends, hell. Partners." "Stop that," Akane said unsteadily. "You're making me want to kiss you. Partners it is." Ranma nodded, good humor restored, and held up her hand. Akane slapped it, and they walked in through the school gate. Michi and Junko were loitering inside the gate, obviously waiting for them. "Hey!" Michi called, waving. "Welcome back!" "Well, how was it?" Junko asked as they met and started for the main entrance, mingling with the crowd of other students. Akane blushed, smiled, and shifted her grip on her schoolbag. Her gold wedding ring glinted in the morning sun. "It was... good," she replied. "I'll bet it was," Michi said slyly. "Just how good was it? Come on, we want details!" Akane just shook her head, still blushing and smiling. Junko turned to Ranma. "How about you, Ranma?" Ranma put her free hand to the back of her head, touching the ring braided into her pigtail. "Like Akane said. It was good." "We'll tell you about it," Akane broke in, "but not here and not now. Not even today. We have schoolwork to catch up with, after all." Junko patted her schoolbag. "Sachi and I took notes for you." "Thanks, Junko. That'll help a lot. Probably tomorrow, then. You'll just have to be patient until then, Michi. So, anything new here?" "Funny you should ask," Junko said. She looked around and lowered her voice. "Kodachi's been acting even stranger than usual for the last couple of days." "Hm," Ranma observed. It wasn't surprising; Kodachi had tried to interrupt their wedding, and had been soundly defeated at Akane's hands. "Well, we'll see at gym, I guess." ~~~~~ The locker room didn't appear to have changed at all in the four days they'd been gone, but Akane opened her locker with caution anyway; their friends were just about as odd as their enemies, and she was expecting anything from a burst of sleep-gas to a sudden explosion of spring-loaded rubber snakes. Nothing happened. She sighed in relief, relaxed, and started unbuttoning her tunic. Ranma was less wary; fortunately, her locker hadn't been tampered with either. Kodachi came around the end of the row of lockers while Ranma was changing and walked up to her. She spoke to Ranma without acknowledging Akane's presence in any way. "Ranma-sama, I wish to speak with you in private, if you would." Ranma looked annoyed. "Can I get dressed first?" she asked, gesturing at her own nudity. Kodachi didn't smile. "Of course, Ranma-sama. I shall await you outside." She turned and left. Ranma and Akane exchanged glances. "That was strange, all right," Ranma remarked, stepping into her leotard and pulling it up. "Well, it can't hurt to talk to her, I guess." Akane looked around to see if anyone else was in earshot. "I'm not letting her get you alone," she said quietly. "Relax, Akane. I can handle her. Uh, I mean--" Akane glared at her. "You 'handle' her and I'll pound you flat. She tries anything funny with drugs or hot water and I'll pound HER flat." Ranma smirked. "Works for me." She settled her shoulders in the leotard and walked out. Akane finished putting on her own and followed. Ranma came out into the gymnasium and looked around for Kodachi, spotting her up in the bleachers. She ran across to the edge of the floor and ascended the tiered bench seats in a series of rapid flips, coming upright next to Kodachi. "So, what do you wanna see me about?" Kodachi's face looked as though she were concealing distress, but her posture was as proud and provocative as ever. "I understand that your wedding to-- to that Tendo person was forced to a conclusion despite my objections," she began. "Never fear, Ranma-sama. I am prepared to do all in my power to ensure that your divorce is as swift and painless as possible." Ranma's jaw dropped. "My what?!" She stopped, lowered her head, and pinched the bridge of her nose between thumb and forefinger. "Listen to me, Kodachi, 'cause I'm only gonna say this once," she said with as much restraint as she could manage. "I'm not gettin' a divorce." "I understand, Ranma-sama." Ranma raised her head hopefully. "You do?" "Yes, I see it now," Kodachi said sympathetically. "Your family is forcing you to remain with that harpy by binding you with promises that an honorable man such as yourself cannot break." She sighed, not noticing Ranma's expression, which had passed annoyed and was well on its way to furious. She glanced at Ranma suddenly. "You didn't, ah, consummate the marriage, did you?" "There's that word again," Ranma muttered. "If you're askin' if I boffed 'er, yeah, I did. So?" "Eeeee!" Kodachi recoiled, hands to her cheeks, and stared at Ranma in horror. She controlled herself after a moment and hung a wan smile on her lips, but she was looking rather desperate around the eyes. "Ah, well, it's not what I had hoped for, but I suppose I can bring myself to play the role of the 'other woman'. I'll be waiting with open arms for you to seek affection outside this loveless marriage. After all, how long can it be before you grow tired of a girl like that?" Ranma's restraint shattered. "Kodachi, you IDIOT! Don't you GET it yet?! I married A-- I married for love! Not honor, not promises! I don't love you! I'll NEVER love you the way you want!" Her shout echoed in the gymnasium, and she suddenly noticed that all the other girls had stopped what they were doing and were staring up at the two of them. Kodachi paled and put her hand to her mouth. "No..." she whispered. Suddenly her eyes flashed. "No!" she declared. "It cannot be true! It cannot be that you love-- that person! You always denied it!" Ranma grimaced. "Yeah, well, now I'm not denyin' it, okay?" Kodachi's brow furrowed. "But why, Ranma-sama? That person fed you horrid dishes, berated you without end, and even abused you physically--" Kodachi broke off, and her eyes widened in sudden surmise. "Ranma-sama! Why didn't you TELL me?!" "I'm TRYIN' to tell ya!" Ranma screeched. Kodachi paid no attention. "I would have been HAPPY to inflict as much pain upon you as you desired, darling!" She produced a large mallet and wound up. Ranma, stunned by her enthusiastic leap to an erroneous conclusion, didn't have a chance. WHACK! "OW!" Ranma yelled, squatting on the bench and clutching at her head as a goose-egg lump sprouted on it. "Cut it out, you crazy fool!" "Ranma-sama! Give me a chance! I can be just as cruel to you as your ill-chosen mate! Feel the full impact of my love for you!" Kodachi swung again, but by that time Akane was there, and the mallet quivered to a stop a centimeter short of contact with Ranma's shoulder. Kodachi tried to wrest the mallet free of Akane's hold and failed. "You wretch! How dare you interfere!" "I beat you at the wedding, Kodachi," Akane snarled. "I can do it again any time you're dumb enough to try me." She ripped the mallet out of Kodachi's grip, flipped it into the air, and caught it by the handle. Something a little like a grin but much nastier crossed her face as she hefted it. "Not bad." Kodachi took a couple of steps back and suddenly noticed their audience. "This is not at all what it appears to be," she said with dignity to the assembled girls. Their flat-eyed stares didn't alter. Kodachi glanced back at Ranma. "We will resume this at another time and place," she said quickly as Akane took a step forward and raised the mallet. "Farewell, Ranma-sama! Oh- hohohoho!" She bounded away down the bleachers and out the gymnasium door. "Show's over," Akane told their audience firmly, lowering the mallet. "Well, don't you have anything better to do? Go on!" It dawned on the onlookers that Akane looked like she was really hoping for a target to present itself for the mallet she hadn't had a chance to use yet. They scattered. "Ow-ow-ow-ow...." Ranma straightened cautiously, one eye still squeezed shut in pain, and prodded gingerly at the lump on her head. Akane looked at her and tsked. "And you. Why on earth did you let her hit you?" "I dunno," Ranma groaned. "She surprised me. Or maybe I got a weakness for girls with big mallets--" "WHAT?!" The mallet twitched in Akane's hands. "I didn't say that!" Ranma gibbered. "If I did, I didn't mean it! Joke! Joke!" Akane giggled. "Baka. After what you said to Kodachi, I'm not about to clobber you." She brought the mallet head up and gently rubbed her cheek against it, but continued to smile at Ranma. "Nice mallet," she crooned in a voice that had dropped half an octave. "I think I'll keep it." Ranma swallowed hard, but not for the usual reason. ~~~~~ Yuriko poked her head out the trapdoor access to the roof of the St. Hebereke's gymnasium and saw Kodachi, standing on the roof some distance away, clad in a cloak that rippled in the wind. She made sure the headband that secured her dark-brown hair behind her ears was firmly in place and emerged from the trapdoor, wishing she were wearing more than a leotard. "Captain?" she said when she reached Kodachi, who continued to gaze out over the school grounds as though surveying her domain. "Did you observe those insolent girls?" Kodachi mused without turning, as though speaking to herself. "Indeed, it is a sorry pass to which I have come, to tolerate such behavior as that." "Well," Yuriko began diplomatically, "they don't believe that Saotome is really a man. She, uh, he's a pretty convincing girl--" Kodachi wheeled to face Yuriko. "My word should be enough for them!" Yuriko's pretty oval face looked pained. "Yes, certainly, but after you said before that there were two Saotome Ranmas, one male, one female--" "He deceived me with that Chinese curse of his! How was I to know that such wonders existed? But now I know the truth, and so should they!" "I apologize for the failure of my attempts to reveal it, Captain," Yuriko said formally, hoping it would calm Kodachi a little. "As well you should," Kodachi sniffed. "This situation is insufferable. To be thought a, a pervert, when in fact I am pursuing the manliest of men... no, I cannot allow this to continue." She heaved a sigh. "And that Tendo person. I curse my father for afflicting me with her; he has been the ruin of my scheme. No, although it pains me, it is clear that I was correct that Ranma-sama must be sent away; it is a threefold gain. My darling will be separated from Tendo, Tendo will be here where we may torment her at will, and these foul rumors regarding my, er, preference will abate, for Ranma-sama will surely return to his delectable male form once gone from here." "But how?" Yuriko asked. "Saotome won't be so careless in the showers again. I tried telling her, er, his friends, but...." She bit her lip, remembering the amused look in Junko's eyes when she'd told Junko that Ranma was really a man. "So what?" Junko had said, and brushed past her. "Yes. They are now loyal to Ranma-sama, and they must be made to regret it, as an example to others whose loyalty to me may be wavering. I cannot imagine why informing Hasegawa-sensei failed, though." *I can,* Yuriko thought. *She didn't believe you. Heck, I'm not sure I believe you....* "I await your instructions, Captain," she said. Kodachi produced an envelope and handed it to Yuriko. "Deliver this." Yuriko read the inscription on the outside and paled. "The Headmistress?" "So it must be, alas." Kodachi continued to stand on the roof after Yuriko had gone, trying not to think of the dreadful words her Ranma-sama had spoken to her, trying not to remember the astonishing speed and strength of the Tendo girl, and trying not to imagine Ranma's perfect body joined with another woman's. She concentrated instead on a vision of Ranma coming penitently before her, begging her forgiveness and declaring his love and desire for her, and her spirits began to revive. "You will yet be mine, Ranma-sama," she whispered to herself. "I was a fool to believe that I could win your heart by refraining from the use of my arsenal, or restraining my desire for you. "The Black Rose shall triumph! Oh-hohohohohohoho!" ~~~~~ "Race you home," Akane said suddenly as she and Ranma walked out the St. Hebereke's gate after school. She smiled at Ranma, but there was something under her smile that Ranma couldn't identify. "Huh?" Ranma began, perplexed, but Akane was already sprinting away. Ranma tossed perplexity to the four winds and ran after her. "No way you gonna beat me, slowpoke!" Akane didn't turn at the taunt, and didn't waste breath replying to it; she leapt to the roofs, showing Ranma her heels-- and an occasional flash of thigh as her skirt flapped. Ranma shut up and concentrated on overtaking her. *Jeez, she's serious!* Akane took the straight path over the rooftops to the Tendo house, denying Ranma an opportunity to cut her off in curves, and didn't slacken her speed a bit. Ranma simply had to run faster than Akane, and she did, but it was harder than she'd thought it would be. Still, Ranma was ten yards ahead when she hurdled the wall around the Tendo compound and skidded to a halt, tagging the gate-post. "Hah!" Akane ran past her and into the house. Ranma gaped. "Hey! I won already!" She staggered after Akane, breathing heavily. As soon as she was inside, she was hit with a hug that rivaled Shampoo's best glomps. "Wah!" She recovered from her surprise, dropped her bag, and hugged Akane back. "Just couldn't wait, could you?" Ranma said teasingly when she had her breath back. "No. I couldn't. I didn't think it would be that bad, but it was." Akane's voice was flat and serious. "Yeah, well, you might wanna take your hand off my butt before Kasumi comes by...." "Eeep!" Akane drew back a bit, blushing, and looked around. "Not that I mind or nothin'," Ranma said hastily. She blew out a breath. "Good run. We oughta do that more." "Sure," Akane said, bending to pick up her bag. "Did I, um, push you at all?" "Nah," Ranma began automatically, then stopped. "Uh... maybe a little." Akane grinned. "Good. 'Cause I can run faster than that. I was just saving breath for this." She leaned forward and kissed Ranma, then twirled away and started up the stairs. "The hell you can!" Ranma called after her. Kasumi had left the kettle on the stove, but she wasn't in the kitchen when Ranma poked her head in. Ranma shrugged, turned the burner off, picked up the kettle, and headed for the bathroom. She shut the changing-room door behind her and stripped quickly out of her St. Hebereke's uniform, then poured the hot water over her head. The change back wasn't quite as much of a relief and pleasure as it had been before, but he still preferred his male body. He donned the clothing that Kasumi had left there for him, clean and neatly folded. When Ranma came out of the changing room wearing his gi, Akane was waiting for him. She slid into his arms for another hug, a longer, slower one, and a matching kiss. "I feel a lot better now," she said after their lips parted. Ranma blushed a little. "Uh... me too." Akane studied him. "You don't need this as much as I do, though, do you," she said, a bit sadly. "You probably wouldn't admit it even if you did." Ranma looked away; all Akane could make out of his mutter was something about "mushy stuff". She sighed and took a grip on the overlap of his gi top, the same one- handed grip that could put him through the wall if she caught him off guard, and pushed him back into the changing room. When she turned back from closing the door, Ranma was already looking apprehensive. "Akane...." "It's all right," Akane said, half-smiling. "I knew you were the strong, stupid type when I married you." "Hey!" Ranma protested, but he lost the apprehensive look. "Ranma, you wanted me to be your buddy, and I've been your buddy. I like being your buddy, but... Ranma, I want you to be my... my lover." Akane wanted not to blush as she said that, but her face had different ideas. "What, right now?" Ranma blurted. Akane's grip tightened as her head lowered. "And if I did? Are you tired of me already?" she said quietly. "Ack! No! Hell's bells, I just got through telling Kodachi that!" "Well, what's your problem, then? If I should happen to want a hug or a kiss or a snuggle or-- or whatever from my husband in private, I would think he'd be a bit less shy about it!" Ranma muttered something. "What?" "This morning you call me a lecher, and say 'no PDAs in school', and then you grab me when we get home, and now this... jeez, I wish you'd make up your mind, is all." "I-- you-- argh!" Akane stopped and took a deep breath. "Well, sometimes I feel like it, and sometimes I don't, and sometimes it's just not the right place or time!" "Yeah? How the hell am I supposed to know?!" "You--!" Akane felt the flustered anger welling up inside her, but on the way up it changed to something else. She flung herself forward and up and was kissing Ranma fiercely almost before she knew it. This time, Ranma knew what to do with his arms; his two-handed grip on her buttocks through the heavy cotton of her gi held their bodies clamped together while the fireworks went off. "Ah, newlyweds...." Their eyes snapped open and rolled sideways. Happosai was resting his elbows on the rim of the hamper and watching them googly-eyed with a brassiere-- one of hers, Akane noticed with chagrin-- draped over his head. "Old fart, you'll pay for that!" Ranma disentangled himself from Akane and struck before he'd finished speaking. Crunch! The hamper disintegrated, but Happosai had leapt clear and bounced across the room. "Come and get me, you whelp!" Happosai jeered, waving the bra at Ranma. Ranma went and got him. Wham! Happosai's counter left Ranma plastered upside-down to the wall of the changing room, but kept the old man occupied long enough for Akane to unleash a vicious snap kick. Happosai caromed off the wall for his second lump and ran into Akane's fist for the third. "Ow..." he whimpered, dragging himself along the floor. "How can you mistreat your poor old master so, Akane-chan?" "Easy," Akane grated. Her elbow slammed down, sending Happosai into dreamland. She retrieved her bra, picked Happosai up, and evicted him from the changing room. Ranma was back on his feet by the time she'd finished. "Goddamn ol' lecher," Ranma complained, rubbing his head. "He musta been in there the whole time!" "Talk about ruining the mood," Akane agreed. "Heh. I guess you felt like it, but it wasn't the right place or time, huh?" Akane giggled. "Something like that." She sobered. "Anyway, about knowing how I feel... I guess it's just something we'll have to figure out as we go. I don't always know how you feel, either." Ranma snorted. "Hell, I usually don't." "Well, I hope you feel like being clobbered a little now, because I have some frustration to work out." "My violent tomboy wife beats me," Ranma complained sotto voce as he followed Akane out, but his lips were twitching. When they walked into the dojo, Kasumi was already there, performing a kata of her own devising. Ranma stopped to watch. Akane glanced at Ranma, and firmly suppressed a momentary twinge at the way his face had softened; she felt the same way. To watch Kasumi practicing kempo was like watching a ballet dancer or a figure skater; her Art hardly seemed martial. Kasumi finished her kata and smiled at them. "Hello!" "Looking good," Ranma said, tossing her a towel. "Starting a little early today, hey?" "I just felt like it," Kasumi replied. She dabbed at her brow. "And I'm trying something a bit more elaborate tonight for dinner, so I'll need to stop earlier." "We'll need to stop early today as well," Akane put in. "Oh? Do you have schoolwork to make up?" Kasumi inquired. "That too." Akane glanced at Ranma. "We have to go out before dinner." "We do? How come?" Ranma asked, surprised. "We, um, should go see Ukyo." Ranma grimaced. "Oh, hell." "We owe it to her to tell her, the sooner the better." Ranma nodded reluctantly. "I guess so... but I'm not looking forward to it." He moved out clear of the wall and began one of his kata. Akane watched him moving, admiring his strength and speed, then noticed that Kasumi was watching him too. She was shifting slightly, as though following along with Ranma's movements, but her expression was fond... and perhaps a little yearning. Akane felt the twinge again. Kasumi glanced at her, then turned away from Ranma and straightened a little. Her face reverted to its usual pleasant smile. "I'd better go bathe now, and then start dinner." "Um... we need a new hamper," Akane mentioned. Kasumi's eyebrow rose. "Oh? What happened to it? "Ranma and Happosai." "Oh. Oh, dear. Well, enjoy your workout...." "I will." As Kasumi left the dojo, Akane went outside and started setting up her doomed concrete blocks. ~~~~~ Ukyo's face froze when she saw Ranma coming into her shop. She returned her attention to the okonomiyaki sizzling on the grill. Ranma gulped and steeled himself, then walked up to the grill through the sudden silence and the stares of the other customers and slid onto a seat. "Hi, Ukyo." "Ranma." Ukyo's voice was hostile. She looked over his shoulder. "Where's your wife?" Ranma flinched. "I, uh, I guess you heard about it, then...." "Yeah, you've been the talk of the town." Ukyo's gaze flicked over his hands. "Not wearin' a ring? You ashamed of her, or just cheap?" "No. Neither." Ranma's voice was even, but his eyes had a pained look. He turned half away so Ukyo could see the ring braided into his pigtail, then turned back. "Sorry," Ukyo said, looking a bit less hostile. "So where is she?" "Outside. She, uh, wasn't sure you wanted to see her." Ukyo chuckled bitterly. "Hell, right now I wanna see her more'n I wanna see you. Bring 'er in." Ranma got up and walked out, the set of his back betraying his rigid control, and came back in a moment later with Akane. Akane looked around at the customers; a couple of them frowned, a few smiled, but most of them just looked curious. "Konatsu, take the grill, hey?" Ukyo came out from behind the grill as Konatsu took her place. She walked up to Akane and embraced her stiffly. "Congratulations, Akane." "Thank you, Ukyo." Akane's voice trembled a little. "Got time for a woman-to-woman chat?" "Sure," Akane said, surprised. "Great. C'mon upstairs. Not you," she added to Ranma when he moved to follow them. "But--" Ranma subsided when Akane caught his eye and shook her head. He watched them disappear up the stairs, and then sat down again at the grill. "I offer my congratulations as well, Ranma-sama," Konatsu said diffidently. "Thanks, Konatsu." Ranma watched morosely as Konatsu finished grilling and serving the okonomiyaki. "So, how's Ukyo doing?" Konatsu didn't pretend not to understand. "Ukyo-sama is... unhappy and angry, but otherwise well. Er, may I serve you, or do you wish to wait for Akane-sama?" Ranma's stomach growled. "I'll wait." ~~~~~ Ukyo led Akane up to her room, closed the door behind them, and dropped to sit cross-legged on the floor. "Have a seat," she said. Akane knelt facing her and waited. "So," Ukyo said finally. "How was the honeymoon?" "Why do you want to know that?" Akane asked quietly. Ukyo suddenly looked very tired. "Dunno. Morbid curiosity, I guess. Humor me, okay?" "It was... good." "How good?" "Ukyo...." "Don't bullshit me, Akane." Akane locked her eyes on Ukyo's. "It was wonderful for me. Even better than I thought it would be. As far as I could tell, it was pretty good for Ranma, too. Do you really want me to spell it out?" "I... guess not. I can tell you're trying not to be cruel." Ukyo sighed. "He still wants to be my friend, doesn't he." "Yes. We both do." "I can't hold this against you; you didn't do anything I wouldn't have done. Him, though...." Ukyo shook her head. "Tell me the truth. If things had been different, and he'd married me, would you be able to be my friend?" "I really don't know. I hope so." "Can you imagine how much it would hurt to see him with me?" Akane flinched, but didn't drop her eyes. "Yes. Easily. I imagine things like that all the time. Ukyo, I... I can't make myself apologize to you, because I'm not sorry I married him. I love him." Ukyo studied her and nodded slowly. "And he loves you. No doubt about that. Dammit." Akane smiled a bittersweet smile. "Yes." "So where does that leave me?" "I don't know. Ranma really feels bad about the yatai and the betrothal. We were worried that Shampoo or Kodachi would try to hurt us-- and they did-- but we were worried that we would hurt you. And we did. Ranma wants to make that all up to you somehow, but he can't think of a way. I can't either. It's just too big." Ukyo nodded again. "Yeah. Well, all I have left is Ucchan's, I guess. I'm not leavin' like the Joketsuzoku did." "There's Konatsu...." "He's not my type," Ukyo said dryly. "I don't feel that way about him any more than you did about Ryoga, those times I tried to get you two together." She paused. "You've been a better friend to me than I deserved, really. This is all Ranma's fault. I don't know if I can be his friend again, but I think I'd still like to be yours." "I'm glad, Ukyo." "Thanks for being straight with me." Ukyo slapped her knees and stood briskly, and Akane rose to her feet as well. "I don't really want to see Ranma right now, so if you would just take him home, I'd be obliged. I'll be in touch." "All right." "One thing," Ukyo said suddenly. "Shampoo said something last week. She said I shouldn't fight you, because I'd lose. Is that true?" "Could be," Akane said evenly. "If you really need to know, challenge me and we'll find out... between friends." A small but genuine smile crept onto Ukyo's lips. "Huh. I might do that sometime, just for fun." Akane smiled back, then turned to open the door. ~~~~~ "Hey, Ranma-kun," the guy on the next seat said. "Congratulations." Ranma eyed the fellow sidelong and recognized him from Furinkan. "Thanks, uh, Toshi. How are things at school?" Toshi grinned. "I was just gonna ask you the same question." "Pretty good," Ranma allowed. "Yeah, I'll bet. Twice as many girls means twice as many cute girls, hey? And no other guys around... man, you got it made." Ranma flushed. "That's not what I meant!" "Suuure it's not. You gotta have girls chasin' you around with hot water all day--" "It's not like that! They don't even know I'm a guy!" This announcement was met with a blank stare. "You're kidding. You stay a girl all day, every day?" "Even in the bathrooms and locker rooms?" the girl on the seat next to Toshi broke in. "Well, yeah, sorta...." Toshi's jaw dropped. "Oh, man. What a show-- ow!" The girl had slugged him. Ranma thought wistfully of Akane for a moment. "It's not a joke," the girl told Toshi severely. She glared at Ranma. "We figured they were all boy-hungry enough to go along with it, but if they don't know, you're just a peeping pervert, Saotome." Ranma looked around desperately for support, but the only sympathetic face in the place was Konatsu's. "I, uh...." "Hey, Chieko, it might not be like that," Toshi suggested. "Maybe he likes bein' a girl." "Now wait just a--" "Maybe Akane married him 'cause he could become a girl," Chieko mused. "She's always hated guys--" Ranma sprang to his feet, pale with fury. "You take that back!" he hissed, jabbing a finger at the girl. "You say what you like about me, but leave Akane out of it!" "Or what?" Chieko said defiantly. "Or you'll beat me up? Saotome Ranma, big bad martial artist, beats up defenseless girls?" Ranma froze. Konatsu coughed. "Please, everyone, let's not annoy the other patrons--" he began. "How about it, Ranma?" Chieko said over Konatsu's voice. "Akane knows you're really a guy; how come she didn't tell the other girls at school? She likes girls, doesn't she? I'll bet you did it girl-girl on your honeymoon." In the sudden dead silence, the crackle of the ice forming in the glass of water next to Ranma's elbow was clearly audible. Toshi gulped. A couple of the brighter patrons edged behind a couple of the dimmer ones. The tense moment was broken by the sound of descending footsteps. "Ranma, let's go home," Akane said as she came down the stairs. Ranma wheeled and strode out of the shop, not looking at anyone. Akane stared after him. "Ranma? What on earth--?" She glanced at the shopful of customers, who were desperately trying to appear innocent, or at least casual. She looked puzzled for a moment, then ran after Ranma. Toshi exhaled in relief and looked at Chieko. "Jeez, you live dangerously," he muttered. "If Akane'd heard that, you'd be in traction by now." "Nonsense," Chieko said, but her voice was a little uncertain. "It was just a joke." Her eyes widened. "You don't suppose it's true, do you?" "Ranma is a kind and decent man," Konatsu said firmly. "I'm sure he has good reasons for gazing on rooms filled with unclothed schoolgirls." He flipped an okonomiyaki, ignoring the mass facefault. ~~~~~ "Ranma? What was all that about?" Akane asked when she'd caught up to him. "You don't want to know." Ranma's voice was cool and controlled. Akane shivered as she sensed his aura. She let hers brush against his, and her expression hardened. "Yes, I do. If someone in there did this to you, they're about to regret it." Ranma sighed, and his aura subsided. "Akane, you wouldn't beat on people who can't defend themselves, so just forget it." He laughed without humor. "The worst part was, it was all true. It just sounded bad the way she said it." "Ranma, if you don't tell me, so help me, I'll beat on YOU!" "Go right ahead." "Hmph. Masochist. Tell me and I'll give you a kiss?" "Heh. I can get that anyway." "Well-- If you don't tell me, I'll tickle you!" "They were talking about St. Hebereke's," Ranma said quickly and quietly. "About how I was peeping at gals who didn't know I was a guy." "That shouldn't have made you THAT mad." "They said I liked being a girl. That you liked me being a girl. That... that we did it while we were both girls." There was a moment of frozen silence, then-- Crash! Akane pulled her fist out of an innocent wall. "We're going back there, and you're going to show me who said that," she snarled. Ranma grabbed her arm. "You can't!" he hissed. "They're not martial artists!" He lowered his voice another notch. "Besides, it's true!" Akane gaped at him. "Well, sure, but that doesn't mean I want people SAYING it!" Ranma raised an eyebrow at her, and she suddenly realized how silly she sounded and laughed a little. "Well, all right. This time they get off easy." Ranma wiped imaginary sweat from his brow, breathed an exaggerated sigh of relief, and resumed walking. "So, what did Ukyo have to say?" Akane grimaced. "She's mad at you. She says she's not sure she can be your friend any more." "Damn. Can't say I blame her, though." "I know. Well, don't give up." "Me? Not likely." ~~~~~ "Saotome-san!" The call echoed under the vaulting roof of the St. Hebereke's gymnasium. Ranma looked in the direction of the call and saw Coach Hasegawa beckoning to her. "Hai!" she called back. "Sorry, Sachi," she told Sachiko, who was doing a handstand and balancing a ball on one bare foot at the moment. "Get, uh, Junko to help you. I gotta go." She trotted over to the older woman. "Sensei?" "We've been summoned to the headmistress' office," Hasegawa told Ranma. "Come on, let's go." She walked off at a brisk pace. Ranma fell into step beside her and eyed her sidelong. "What's the matter?" "I can't tell you," Hasegawa said, not looking at Ranma. She lowered her voice. "I don't really know. I suspect that someone has made a complaint about you at a higher level." Ranma flinched. The last complaint had been an anonymous letter informing Hasegawa of Ranma's reaction to hot water. It had been countered by a petition from Ranma and Akane's four friends, and Hasegawa's overt support for Ranma's gymnastic activities and implicit lack of interest in any secrets Ranma might happen to have. This looked to be rather more serious. The rest of the walk through the halls of St. Hebereke's was silent. Four women were waiting in the administration offices when Hasegawa escorted Ranma in and shut the tall wooden doors behind them. Ranma dragged her eyes away from the kettle resting on the desk with a folded cloth under it, and swept her gaze across them: the headmistress in her wheelchair, Sister Naomi, Ranma's homeroom teacher Kogara-sensei, and, most disturbing, Dr. Nagato. Ranma moved to stand before the desk, carefully keeping her face impassive and her mouth shut. "Saotome-san," the headmistress began, looking faintly embarrassed, "I have been informed that you, er, do not meet the requirements for admission to St. Hebereke's. It has been alleged that you, er, are not female. Do you have anything to say about this?" "It sounds pretty silly to me," Ranma said carefully. She flicked a glance at Dr. Nagato. "Have her examine me if you like, but this--" she gestured at her leotard-clad form-- "ought to speak for itself, Headmistress." The old woman nodded. "The information alleges that there is dark sorcery making you appear female, and that hot water will break the spell. Ordinarily we would dismiss such suggestions, but as the source is, ah, highly placed, and by the nature of our school we are sensitive to possible, er, evil influences on our charges, we have decided to make the test. It seems harmless enough. The water is not hot enough to injure." Ranma's jaw muscles flexed. "Do it." *Sorry, Akane... it was good while it lasted.* She racked her brain for a way out of the trap, a miracle that would turn the hot water into cold before it touched her-- and thought of one. Dr. Nagato picked up the kettle, held it over Ranma's head, muttered an apology, and poured. Ranma stood before the assembly, quite wet and obviously female. She regarded the headmistress coldly. "Are you done? May I go now?" The headmistress nodded ruefully. "Yes, I think that will do, Saotome-san. I apologize for this incident." Ranma's chilly demeanor thawed somewhat, and she bowed. "Thank you, Headmistress." She straightened, turned on her heel, and left the office. By the time she returned to the gymnasium, the afternoon session was over and most of the girls had left. Akane was waiting with Michi, Junko, Sachiko, and Eriko, all still wearing leotards. "What happened, Ranma?" Akane asked as Ranma joined them. "Tell you later." Ranma craned her neck to look over the taller girls. "Say, anyone seen Kodachi around?" "I didn't see her here in the gym today," Junko said. "Why?" *'Cause I wanna beat her to a pulp.* "No reason." Ranma headed for the locker room. She showered and changed silently, paying no attention to the other girls, but aware that Akane was watching her with concern. "So, do you have time to tell us about the wedding?" Michi asked hopefully as they left the gymnasium. Akane glanced at Ranma. "I suppose so...." "Great!" Michi said happily. "We can go to my place," Eriko volunteered. "Sounds good," Akane agreed. "I, uh, can't. I gotta go home." Everyone looked at Ranma. "Oh, come on, Ranma," Michi pleaded, "we've been dying to hear about it! Pleeeease?" "Are you all right, Ranma?" Akane asked, giving Ranma a worried look. Ranma pasted the most reassuring smile she could manage on her face and hoped for the best. "Sure, I'm fine. I just gotta go. You go with 'em and tell 'em the story, Akane. It's all right." "Well, if you're sure..." Akane said slowly. Ranma nodded emphatically. "Yeah, you go on. I'll see you later. Bye!" She sprinted away, took to the rooftops, and was quickly out of sight. Akane stared after her. "Wow. There's sure nothing wrong with Ranma's health," Michi observed. Akane glanced at Sachiko. Sachiko pursed her lips and shrugged, but her eyes had a concerned look similar to Akane's. ~~~~~ "I'm home!" Kasumi counted to five, picked up the waiting kettle, and turned towards the kitchen door. "Welcome home, Ranma," she said brightly when Ranma looked in, but then she dimmed a little. "Where's Akane? Nothing's wrong, is it?" Ranma took the kettle. "Nah. She's just chatting with some of the gals from school. 'Scuse." She headed for the bathroom. Kasumi tilted her head, considered for a moment, then went up to her room. When Kasumi came down again wearing her gi, she could hear a rhythmic thudding noise coming from outside the house. As she crossed the covered walkway leading from the house to the dojo, she saw that Ranma was responsible. He was lashing out at the rope-covered post in the side yard: punch, punch, kick. Punch, punch, kick. Punch, punch, CRACK! Ranma stood looking down at the broken post and breathing heavily. "Isn't that more like something Akane would do?" Ranma looked up at Kasumi, standing on the dojo's veranda, and half-smiled. "Yeah, I guess." He noticed her gi. "Say, Kasumi, wanna spar?" "I thought you'd never ask." Kasumi let a note of doubt creep into her voice. "You're not going to be as hard on me as you were on that poor post, are you?" "Nah," Ranma said sheepishly, coming up the steps. He took up a position in the middle of the dojo floor and waited impatiently for Kasumi to finish a quick warmup. When Kasumi stood before him in a closed defensive stance, he nodded to her and began. Ranma meant to go slowly, tailoring his movements to Kasumi's strength and speed, which were considerably less than Akane's, but suddenly he realized that he was lashing out at Kasumi nearly as hard as he had at the post. Kasumi was taking it, though, gracefully deflecting his punches and kicks so that he spent his energy on the air or wasted it recovering from overextension. Curious, he probed carefully at her with a more sophisticated attack, and was rewarded with a quick flash of uncertainty in her eyes. Ranma returned to the simple attacks and defenses, and found that his anger was washing away in Kasumi's calm acceptance. His assault on her guard gradually softened, becoming a reaching out for contact and comfort, and it dawned on him that his overtures were being returned. He stopped, put his hand behind his head, and laughed uneasily. "What's wrong, Ranma?" Kasumi asked, straightening from her stance. "Nothin'." Kasumi gave him a look of gentle concern very different from Akane's usual skeptical glance. "I'm not as oblivious as some people think, little brother. Something is bothering you, and I'd like to help, if I can." Ranma groped for words. "Sparring with you sure is different from sparring with Akane," he said finally. Kasumi went along with his apparent change of subject. "How is it different?" "Well... gaah. I can't tell you. I'll have to show you." Ranma dropped into a stance again, one Kasumi recognized as Akane's, but exaggerated somewhat. He moved in and engaged her, with linear, precise, powerful punches and kicks in combinations that flared and vanished. Kasumi had trouble coping with Ranma's attacks, in the same way that she had trouble coping with Akane when they sparred; she kept trying to find harmony in their give and take, and it always eluded her. Ranma disengaged and stepped back. "That's Akane, right?" Kasumi nodded. "Okay, this is me." Ranma slid into a relaxed, open stance, then rushed forward. He was suddenly all around Kasumi, swirling and turbulent, leaping and flipping so that his attacks came from directions that seemed chaotic. Kasumi recognized the pattern behind them: Ranma's signature probing for weakness and ruthless exploitation of it, but again exaggerated. This time, Kasumi found herself yielding to Ranma's advances and pursuing his retreats in a circling that fed back into itself. It made her want to laugh, or at least giggle, from the sheer exuberance of it. "See the difference?" Ranma said, pulling back a little and slowing, but not stopping. Kasumi nodded again. "Now this... this is you." Ranma's movements suddenly complemented Kasumi's in a graceful dance that surged and retreated across the dojo floor, never really attacking, never truly defending. Kasumi felt a keen sense of loss when Ranma finally retreated a little too far and stopped. "That was amazing, Ranma-sensei," Kasumi said in tones of genuine awe. "Thank you." She bowed. "Well, you see how it is, then? Akane's like... fire," Ranma said seriously. "I'm air. You're--" "Water," Kasumi said, nodding. "You and Akane are fire and air. Akane and I are fire and water." "That's why sparring with each other isn't much fun for either of you," Ranma agreed. "Your styles just don't fit." "And you and I are air and water. Together...." *Clouds and rain,* she thought, but had the presence of mind not to say. Ranma didn't notice Kasumi blush and drop her eyes. "Wind and waves, I guess," he said. "Sparring with Akane is... exciting. Sparring with you is calming. I sorta needed that today." "I'm glad I could help, Ranma." Ranma met her eyes. "You always help, Kasumi." He fidgeted a little. "While we were, uh, away, Akane told me about all the talks she had with you about her and me. Things mighta gone a lot different if it weren't for the stuff you told her, so I guess I owe you for that. And for takin' care of her after her mother, uh, your mother passed away. And for takin' care of me, too. Thanks aren't enough, somehow." Kasumi's answering smile was not vacant at all. "You're welcome, Ranma. Truly. I've known all along that you appreciated me. You've been so good for Akane, too. She's so happy now, when before she was... well, you know how she was, perhaps better than anyone. We all miss Mother terribly, but Akane was... wounded worst of all, and I've never known how to heal her. You did. I'm very glad that you joined our family, Ranma." Ranma blushed and reached for the back of his head. "Aw, Kasumi...." He looked so flustered that Kasumi just had to take three steps forward and hug him. She felt the twitch as he controlled the reflex that would have vaulted him clear; instead, his arms came down around hers, and they stood motionless for a comfortable moment. Ranma was just beginning to become aware of how very female his new sister was when the dojo door slid open. "Ra-- RANMA! What are you DOING?!" Ranma sprang back and goggled at Akane, standing in the doorway. "Akane!" "What, one Tendo girl wasn't enough for you?! You had to try for another?!" Akane's shock was igniting around the edges. "Sister. Brother. Please don't quarrel." Kasumi's pained voice cut through the developing catastrophe, stopping both Ranma and Akane in their tracks. "Ranma, I'd like to have a word with my sis-- with your wife, if you don't mind." She made a shooing gesture. "Mind? Me? No, not at all!" Ranma babbled, but his feet knew what to do; they made it out the back door before his mouth was quite finished. "Honestly, Akane," Kasumi said patiently, heading off Akane's attempt to restart her tirade. "I know you're in the habit of insulting Ranma, and that's between you and him, I suppose, but this time you're insulting me, too, and I think I've earned better than that." Akane gaped. "But you... he...." "I was hugging my brother," Kasumi sighed. "He'd just said something very touching. He thanked me for taking care of you, for all the years before he came to live with us." Akane's expression, which had gone from anger to uncertainty, collapsed into full-blown guilt. "He what? He said that? My Ranma?" "Yes, your Ranma. Really, I think you underestimate him sometimes. He certainly doesn't deserve... what you said." "Oh, Kasumi, I'm sorry!" Akane's eyes were beginning to overflow. "I saw you... and I thought...." "Well, you always think that, and it's never been true before, has it? You're just being silly, sister." Akane laughed a bit at Kasumi's teasing tone. "I guess so. I'm really sorry, Kasumi." She came into the dojo, wiping her eyes. "He just keeps attracting girls, and I was afraid you were the next one." "I told you, he's not my type," Kasumi said. "Besides, I doubt I could defeat you in savage combat to win his heart." That got a real laugh out of Akane. "But he's a fine brother. Which reminds me; something's troubling him. I helped him as much as I could, but he needs you... even if he won't admit it." Akane slapped herself on the forehead. "Right, that's why I came home. I'll go find him." "And apologize?" Akane grimaced, but she was already moving. "And apologize." Kasumi waited until Akane was out of the dojo, then relaxed slightly, sighed, and fanned herself with her hand. "Oh, my," she said to herself. "I really need to find someone to marry soon." ~~~~~ As Akane cleared the eaves, she spotted Ranma right where she thought he'd be, pacing away from her along the peak of the roof. "Yeah, that's what I'll say," she heard him mutter. "That was so uncute--" He broke off and whirled when he heard her feet land behind him. "Eeep!" "I'm sorry, Ranma." Akane clasped her hands in front of her and looked down at them. "Damn," Ranma said, chagrined. "I was gonna chew you out a while first." He shook his head at her and frowned. "Did you tell Kasumi you were sorry?" "Yes." "Well, all right, then. I mean, I'm used to it, but Kasumi? Jeez." "I know. She said it was silly, and it was. I just can't help it. I've always been a little jealous of Kasumi. You remember when I had that crush on Tofu-sensei...." "Well, Kasumi's pretty special, and she's the best big sister I could ever hope for. But you're the one I married, baka." Akane looked up and smiled ruefully. "I'd slug you for that, but this time I deserve it." "Boy, do you ever. I mean, what were you thinking?" "All right, already. I said I was sorry!" "Fine, then," Ranma muttered, sitting on the roof. Akane sat beside him and leaned up against him, and he put an arm around her absently. "Now that that's out of the way, Kasumi said something was bothering you. Is it the same thing that was bothering you when we left school?" "Yeah. Kodachi just hit the top of my list." Ranma paused. "Hasegawa-sensei took me to the Head's office. Someone told 'em to pour hot water on me, so they did." Akane felt her stomach freeze solid and drop four inches. "Oh, no! They'll kick us out!" "No." "What do you mean, 'no'?" "I didn't change. I tricked 'em. I used cold aura to take the heat out of the water before it hit me." "Ranma... wow. That's amazing, even for you." "Yeah, it is, isn't it?" Ranma said proudly. "Anyway, I thought just maybe I'd locked the curse by doing it, so I wanted to get home quick to see." "Well, it looks like it worked." Akane ran a hand over Ranma's muscular chest. "Yeah. I wasn't real worried, but I've never tried anything like that before, so, well, you know. I'm gonna have to practice that aura trick, though. If the water'd been hotter, or Nagato- sensei had poured it faster, or the kettle'd been fuller... well. I mighta been able to keep from changing, but someone mighta noticed the chill. It was close." "Still, it could be a good thing in the long run. I doubt they'll believe the next person who tells them you're really a guy." "I hope. This is really a pain, though. I thought things would be better once we got married, with the fiancee stuff all gone. But there's just more crap all the time!" Akane shrugged. "I told you before. That's just the way your life is." "Yeah, but this time I can't fight it! I can beat anyone if they'll just fight me, but they're hitting me ways I can't fight! Kodachi's trying to get me kicked out of St. Hebereke's, those guys at Ucchan's were saying stuff... why won't they just let us be?" "Well, you know the saying: the nail that sticks up gets hammered down. You stick up pretty far, Ranma." Ranma cheered visibly at that. "Yeah, that's true, isn't it." "And they're just doing the same thing you always do: attacking your weak points, and preventing you from striking at theirs." "Huh. Yeah." "What I don't understand," Akane said, warming to her theme, "is why you're upset about it. Ranma, you love fights! You're never happier than when you've just figured out how to defeat someone who gave you real trouble. This is just another battle. Enjoy it!" "Well, maybe... but Musabetsu Kakuto doesn't work real good at this." "So come up with something else." "Easy for you to say," Ranma muttered. "If you'd been there, you woulda just put that gal in her place, somehow." "That's another thing. Ranma, you're not alone. I'm your partner, remember? Besides, this is my fight too. Kodachi's trying to get BOTH of us kicked out of school. Those idiots in Ucchan's insulted me too... well, sort of." "Hmm...." "Think about it. Kodachi tried to split us up by having you transferred to St. Hebereke's, and we beat that. We stood together when our fathers tried to get us married. When Shampoo attacked me, I came and found you, and we won. We even scored off of Nabiki when she tried to set us up on our honeymoon." "Damn. You're right!" Ranma leapt to his feet and struck a heroic pose. "We'll show her! We'll show them all! Together, we cannot be defeated! Wahahaha!" Flash! CRACK-BARADABADOOM! "Don't you say it," Ranma warned, leveling a finger at Akane as the rain began to fall. Akane said it anyway. "Have you been taking lessons from Kuno-sempai?" "Gaah." Akane laughed and got up. "Come on, let's get out of the rain." "Too late," Ranma said ruefully, looking down at her chest, but she followed Akane down the slope of the roof and leapt to the ground. "So what happened with the gals?" Ranma asked, sitting down on the veranda outside the main room. "I thought you'd be chatting with 'em for a while yet." "Oh, that's right," Akane exclaimed. "It slipped my mind. My goodness, what a busy afternoon.... Well, when we got to Eriko's house, it turned out that they'd set up a sort of party for us to celebrate our wedding. Nothing fancy, just food and drinks and a chance to chat in private. So I told them I'd go see if I could talk you into coming over after all." "You mean you were going to drag me over there by my pigtail." "Wow, Ranma! You're smarter than you look!" "Baka. Yeah, sounds like fun. Let me go wash up and we'll go." "Fine. I'll go tell Kasumi we won't be here for dinner, then get changed." ~~~~~ Akane was caught half-dressed when Ranma opened the door of their room and came in. "Eeep!" she began, groping for something to throw with the hand that wasn't holding her dress to her chest. Ranma stopped drying his hair and gave Akane a raised-brow look. "What's the matter with you?" Akane blushed. "Oops. Sorry. Habit, I guess." She finished dressing while Ranma slipped his usual black trousers and Chinese shirt on over his shorts and tank top. They went down the stairs to the entry. Ranma got his shoes on first. He selected the largest of the umbrellas leaning against the wall, then picked up another and held it out to Akane. "Here you go." Akane accepted the umbrella only to put it back down. She looked up at him expectantly. "What? I was being considerate!" "So you were." Akane smiled. "I was hoping for romantic, though. I'm certainly not going to carry an umbrella when you have a perfectly good one, even if it's not the legendary umbrella that makes the couple who share it fall in love." Ranma winced. "Oh. Right." He stepped outside, opening the umbrella as he did so, and waited. Akane came out, making a little jump from the front step to the shelter of the umbrella. She slipped her hand into the crook of his elbow and smiled up at him again. "Much better." "Yeah." Ranma remembered that other umbrella, the competition over who would share it with whom, the frantic denials, and the blushing... especially the blushing. "Yeah, it sure is." Akane resumed their conversation as they walked briskly along the street. "So what are we going to do about Kodachi?" "I dunno yet. Still working on strategy. She's doing pretty well at tactics-- hitting my, uh, our weak points-- so we need to find her weak points and hit 'em. Long term, though, we need to find out what she wants and keep it from her. We have to get her attention away from attacking us and put it on defending herself. We have to go on the offensive." Akane stared at him. Sometimes she forgot how good Ranma really was at conflict, and then something like this would come out of his mouth to remind her. "Um, right. She knows what we want: to stay at St. Hebereke's. I guess she still wants you. I can't imagine why she's trying to get you kicked out of school, though." "Maybe 'cause I want to stay. Maybe she wants revenge. Having me slap her down like that must have cost her face, even if she bounced right back. She wants... huh. Maybe she wants respect. I sure do." "What?" "Yeah!" Ranma turned to her suddenly. "Listen, Akane, one of the best things about me training you was that you started calling me 'sensei' and listening to what I had to say. It felt really good. Respect. I've been getting it from the gym gals, too. I want more of that. I want people to quit taking advantage of us by hitting us where they know we won't hit back. Like Kodachi and those gossips... and Happosai. Pops. Kuno. Maybe Nabiki, if she hasn't learned her lesson yet. "That's not all. I want for people who are good to us to have good things happen to 'em. Kasumi. Momma. Junko's gang. Maybe Ukyo, if she ever gets over what I did to her." "That's a lot to want," Akane said slowly, but as she did, she realized that she wanted a lot of it herself. "Yeah. But with both of us working together, I think we can swing it. You said to treat life like a battle. I want us to win, and I want us to have fun while we're doing it. How about it, partner?" Akane stopped Ranma with her grip on his elbow, then turned to face him and held her hand up between them. Ranma clasped it with his free hand. "I'm with you all the way, Ranma," Akane said in a low, fierce voice, staring up into Ranma's gray eyes. "Now and forever." Ranma's grip became iron. "They're gonna be sorry they messed with us," he breathed, smiling grimly. Flash! CRACK-BARADABADOOM! "Jeez. That's embarrassing," Ranma muttered, rolling his eyes. Akane laughed, released Ranma's hand, and clapped him on the shoulder. They resumed walking, two figures under a single umbrella in the late-winter downpour. ~~~~~ end chapter 1 ~~~~~